Entertainer Third, Boss Second, Friend First

While I am completely excited about the upcoming year and all the plans and preparation involved, I must admit that today I am a little sad about the close of this year. I’m already missing the girls’ voices filling West Hall. I’ve had to say some sad goodbyes to residents and RAs that I might not ever see again. And all the doors are naked! It’s kind of depressing walking down the bare hallways without the amazing decorations the RAs worked so hard on. I told Kali that I was keeping my door tag up.

Before the RAs moved in this year, I made them all “Office” themed door tags. Each girl had a different Office character “welcoming” them to West Hall, complete with a hilarious quote. Probably my favorite was Ashley’s. Dwight welcomed her to West saying, “When my mother was pregnant with me, they did an ultrasound and found she was having twins, and when they did another ultrasound a few weeks later, they discovered that I had resorbed the other fetus. Do I regret this? No. I believe his tissue has made me stronger. I now have the strength of a grown man and a little baby.”

Well, since I was the boss, I decided to make my own door tag and let Michael welcome me. I actually made two, since my office has two doors … one of my very favorite things about my job. Anyway, on the outside of my office, where residents pass by, I had “Would I rather be feared or loved? Um, easy. Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.” And on my inside door that opens up to the RA desk, I had “I guess the atmosphere that I’ve created here is that I’m a friend first and a boss second. Probably an entertainer third.”

Last night was my last “staff development” consisting of a surprise dinner at Ted’s and dessert at an unspecified location. In between the two, my RAs took it upon themselves to surprise me. After being told to wait in my office until someone came to get me, I was brought into the lobby where all my girls were standing in a line with their hands behind their backs. They sat me down in a chair and one by one pulled a letter of my name out from behind them, each reciting a line from a poem they wrote for me together as a staff.

Now, as I said before, I am really excited about next year. So excited that it’s been difficult for me to feel sad about leaving. Oh my word, though, I lost it with this poem. It’s probably very “inside joke-ish,” so I’ll just say that I almost killed several of these girls in a freak ditch accident last year …

Staff share time is the West Hall way
Avoiding ditches is not her forte
Rolls of pictures she loves to take
And her pretzel dessert is the best she makes
Hairstyles mark the seasons’ change

Kanye to Derek Webb is her musical range
Abilene is where her roots lie
Yes, without Bahama Mamas she might die
Event of the year is Strangers in the Night

Ran the full marathon with all her might
Entertainer third, Boss second, Friend first
Ending of Beaches made tears burst!
Dear Sarah, “Hanks” for the memories!

They also gave me gift certificates to Randy’s and Bahama Ice along with Twizzlers, Sour Patch Kids and Junior Mints … these girls know me so well! More than any of that, though, I will treasure my framed copy of the poem. They seriously all got together and had a poetry jam session!

On a few occasions I’ve been asked my favorite thing about being a hall director, and I have always answered the same thing … having an RA staff. These girls are absolutely incredible. They are all so beautiful and talented and work so hard to make West Hall a great place to live. They make me look good! More than any other part of my job, I will miss Anna, Melody, Adrienne, Jen, Lindsay, Elizabeth, Ashley, Kali, Cherish, Quita, Amanda, and Stephanie.

Whatever It Takes

Humor me, but I’ve got one more running post for you guys.

Actually, “training” is a better word. I’ve got one more training post for y’all.

I’ve had a week without running to rest, recuperate, and reflect on the marathon and the five months of training leading up to it. It’s been a nice break, but I must say that it felt good to put my running shoes back on and get a few miles in yesterday. I’ve even started thinking about my next big race … perhaps a half marathon this fall in Chicago? I have realized that I do best when I have a set goal with a clear plan of how to accomplish it. Next race day? September 14th. Training starts? June 23rd.

Last semester, long before Jamie volunteered to train and run the marathon with me, we were engaged in another sort of training together. We met weekly for the purpose of spiritual encouragement and accountability. We both had the desire to memorize scripture contextually and were already working through Philippians when marathon training started. In keeping with the whole idea of “training” we decided to set spiritual as well as physical goals that were to culminate on April 27th. And while we both crossed the finish line that day in terms of the marathon, our audacious reading and memorizing goals were left behind at mile two.

When we first began training and I pictured marathon day, I pictured the shirt I would run in. On the front, of course, would be my number. On the back, however, I wanted two things. “26(.2) miles in my 26th year” and “…train yourself for godliness; for while bodily training is of some value, godliness is of value in every way, as it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come. 1 Timothy 4:7b-8″ As race day drew near, however, I didn’t feel like I could put those verses on my back. I could mentally assent to their truth, but my course of training did not show that was what I really believed. I made the sacrifices of time and effort to discipline and train my body for a 26.2 mile race, and come race day, I was ready. However, my training for godliness was sporadic and often shallow, and on race day, I wasn’t much further than when I started.

I am convinced that almost anyone can run a marathon. People of all shapes, sizes and ages cross that finish line. I used to see these people and think, “Really? You just ran a marathon?” It all comes down to training. If someone is willing to put in the time and effort to train and train well, then she can run the race … and finish. Hardly anyone, however, can just get up one morning and decide to go out and run twenty six miles. Determination and effort without training can only carry you so far.

There’s a book I have yet to read whose title captures for me the spiritual side of training: “A Long Obedience in the Same Direction: Discipleship in an Instant Society,” by Eugene Peterson. I love that … a long obedience in the same direction. I want to be a disciple of Jesus Christ, but I oftentimes don’t want to work at it. I want to be perfect now. I want to say the right things at the right time. I want to behave appropriately always. I want to have self control. I want to be giving and unselfish. I want to snap my fingers and have all of this perfected in me instantaneously. I forget that it is in training, in hardships, in time and in pain that God “molds me and makes me after his will.” I want to work out only when I feel like it and then expect to run a marathon, but it doesn’t work that way.

I feel that my “bodily training” success has paved the way for success in “training in godliness.” I’ve learned that there are no short cuts. If I try to avoid the “hard” or the pain, I’ll only end up weak and shallow. It’s not always exciting or pleasant, but it’s always worth it. Awhile back, I read a Kate McDonald blog about her infant son’s temper tantrums. She wrote about how even at 14 weeks, Cohen thought he knew what was best and would rail against “tummy time.” She writes, “HE doesn’t know that to be able to walk, he needs to crawl and that to be able to crawl, he needs to learn to hold up his head and chest … which is why I am laying him on his tummy in the first place. It made me think about my life … and about God. God must chuckle at my twisting and turning and screaming about wanting my way and think, ‘really, Kate? Really? You are so sure you know that you know what you need, aren’t you?’ It was a small epiphany that left me thinking long after the little man had (finally) dozed off, worn out from his vain toiling. I found myself saying, ‘God, whatever it takes for me to walk … all of the stretching and discomfort … help me to quit fighting the things you have set in motion in my life to help me grow …’”

Hmm … whatever it takes for me to walk … or run. That’s a scary prayer to pray. However, it’s a prayer that will hopefully carry me beyond mile two and on to twenty six.