So I don’t get Alzheimer’s …

Did you ever see that episode of Friends where Rachel is determined to finish a crossword puzzle on her own?  She tells Chandler, “You know what we should all do?  Go see a musical.  And you know which one we should see?  The 1996 Tony Award winner.  Do you happen to know the name of that one?”  Of course, this was before Google made crossword puzzles completely conquerable for anyone with internet access, and while I refuse to cheat via search engine, I am not beyond soliciting a little assistance, a la Rachel’s tactic.

Friday night was a slow one at B&B, so I ran over to Potbelly to pick up a Reader.  After skimming the upcoming concerts (of course), I opted for the crossword puzzle.  I’ve never been really big on crosswords; they always seem daunting and obscure.  It’s a little discouraging when you know maybe two or three words out fifty, so I was fully prepared to give up after a couple minutes.  However, when I read the clue for 39-across (the worst song of all time, according to Blender), I was hooked.  For some reason my mind latches on to useless trivia like this.  Hebrew verb paradigms, however, just don’t seem to stick.    Anyway, I was more than thrilled to write in “WEBUILTTHISCITY” with a pen, no less.  There for awhile I thought I could maybe finish it completely on my own.  But alas, I am stuck.  And while I won’t Google, I will solicit input from those promising not to Google as well.    How ’bout it, friends?  Wanna help me finish my crossword?

Standing the Test of Time … and Distance

Because I couldn’t have written it better …

25 Things

I am cracking up at how this has taken over Facebook these days!  By now you all know what to do … tag me back if you do it!

1. I was once held at gunpoint while the gunman tried to steal my car.  He couldn’t get it to start, however, so he stole my friend’s car instead.
2. I was an only child for eleven years.  I used to refer to myself as a “lonely child.”  Even though technically I am now the eldest, I still maintain my only child personality in many respects.  As does my younger brother, despite technically being the youngest.
3. I don’t have a sister, but my cousin Jayme might as well be … we grew up fighting like sisters.  These days I never get tired of having her around.  I love her SO much, and I am so thankful that as of this year we get to live in the same town!
4. My best friend growing up was also named Sarah.  And we have the same middle name.  And it’s spelled in a semi-unusual way … Kaye.  And we’re both named after our aunts.  On our moms’ side.
5. When I was in middle school I had a fanatical crush on John Travolta.  I was obsessed.  I would record episodes of Welcome Back Kotter on Nick at Nite.  I still have my Saturday Night Fever t-shirt.
6. I am not a fan of root beer, but I absolutely love root beer Dum Dums.
7. If I had a bucket list, I would be able to cross off “Run a marathon” and “Jump out of a plane.”
8. I am a multiple sneezer.  I hardly ever sneeze less than five times in a row, and I believe my record is twelve.
9. My hair is an ever evolving entity.  My mom never let me color it growing up, so that has become my benign method of rebellion.  Over the past four years or so I’ve gone blonde to dark, dark brown and everywhere in between.  I also like to grow it out long and then cut it super short.  Drastic changes usually coincide with major life changes, i.e. breakups, graduations, etc.
10. I don’t consider myself to be especially feminine, although I am somewhat girly about certain things.  Like nail polish.  I love it.  I usually paint my nails once a week, and I have a huge tote with almost any shade of red and pink imaginable.  (I’m not usually a crazy color girl, although I do have teal!)  I also really like makeup.  I have amassed quite the collection of Clinique Bonus samples.
11. It is my goal to see every movie that ever won the Academy Award for Best Picture.  Out of 80, I’ve seen 48 … and a half.  I still haven’t made it all the way through Lawrence of Arabia. 
12. I have a couple prerequisites for my future last name.  1) I would like to move up in the alphabet.  2) I would like a name more unusual than Reed.  I would also like to still have double letters, but that may be getting too picky.
13. If I could choose for myself any giftedness, it would be to sing uniquely and well, to play an instrument with true talent, and to write music and lyrics with life changing potential.   Really, any of the three would be nice.  I suppose I’ll just have to settle for being an appreciator.
14. My three favorite instruments in no particular order are the harmonica, the mandolin, and the cello.  My cousin’s is the triangle.  I got her one for her birthday.
15. I am convinced that music is an incredible didactic tool.  As much as effort as I put into memorizing scripture, it somehow falls out of my head after awhile.  Scripture in song, however, is there forever.  How fitting that the Psalms were meant to be sung!  I always try to incorporate music into my teaching, and I plan to do it as a professor someday as well.  You know, I can’t name a single character from The Scarlet Letter, but thanks to my senior English teacher Mrs. Whitaker, I sure as heck know that Heathcliff and Cathy are the stars of Wuthering Heights.  For four plus minutes of ever increasing hilarity: 
16. I’m really good at “Don’t Forget the Lyrics.”  If it weren’t for my fear of singing in front of people, I would totally try out.  I would have won $200,000 if I had been on the show one of the nights I watched.
17. I did win a computer for college at Project Graduation.
18. My first car did not have reverse.  I had to get really creative with parking.
19. I am conflicted about having children.  Sometimes I want four – two boys and two girls – so that everyone can have a sister AND a brother.  Other times I think, “I hope I’ll love my OWN children.”  However, when my friend Stacey had her first child Molly, that fear was pretty much alleviated.  I love that kid so much!
20. If I could perfectly emulate anyone’s style & wit it would have to be Lorelai Gilmore’s.
21. I am a firm believer in the power of words.  Life and death, friends, life and death.  To this day I can remember very vividly words people have spoken to/about me, both for the good and the bad.
22. I really like to be right.  Sadly sometimes I prefer being right over being liked.
23. The first rated R movie I ever saw was Stand by Me.  My family was watching it and allowed me to stay with them in the living room if I covered my eyes during the throw up scene.  I peeked.
24. I thoroughly enjoy reading things aloud to others.  If you and I are at Blockbuster, you can be pretty sure I’ll try to read you the back cover of at least one movie.  One summer at volleyball camp, my friend Tracy was reading a John Grisham book that I had already read.  She had about fifty pages left, and I convinced her to let me read them to her so I could see her reaction to the twist at the end.
25. I love, love, love being on the roof.  I wanted to have my 13th birthday on the roof of the Grace Museum, but it was too expensive.  When I was a dorm director my building had a flat roof, and when the weather was nice I would go up there during the day to lay out (I lugged a lawn chair up there all by myself) and at night to pray.  I took my staff up there a couple times (shh … don’t tell) and got caught by the UCO police once when I took my cousins and aunt up there.  To commemorate my last week as a hall director, a friend of mine and I spent the night up there.  It was SO uncomfortable (read: sleeping on rocks, literally), but totally worth it.

Because I don’t get my final study guide until tomorrow …

1. Pick 20 of your favorite movies.
2. Go to IMDB, find a quote from each movie.
3. Post them in a note for everyone to guess.
4. Strike it out when someone guesses correctly, and put who guessed it and the movie.
5. NO GOOGLING/using IMDB search functions. That’s cheating and it ruins the fun.

1. “I gave her my heart, she gave me a pen.” Sydnie & my mom (via the phone) – Say Anything

2. “Easy peasy japanesey.”  Tracy – The Shawshank Redemption

3. “I’m the first pancake.”

4. “Manure just happens to be my specialty.” Jayme (via Facebook)- Wild Hearts Can’t Be Broken

5. “A boy’s best friend is his mother.”

6. “‘Allo”
“Did you say hello?”
“No, I said ”allo,’ but that’s close enough.”  Jennifer (via Facebook) – Labyrinth

7. “I may be a beginner at some things, but I’ve got a black belt in shopping!”  Michelle (via Facebook) – Troop Beverly Hills

8. “I have learned a thing that you haven’t.  There are some things worth having, but they come at a price.  And I want to be one of them.”

9. “No more rhymes now, I mean it!”
“Anybody want a peanut?“  My mom – The Princess Bride

10. “I can’t believe my grandmother actually felt me up.”  Jayme (via Facebook) – Sixteen Candles

11. “Pouncer, Pouncer the wonder cat. I’m so glad you’re not a rat, or a bat, or too fat.”  My mom – Beaches

12. “Secret’s in the sauce.” My mom – Fried Green Tomatoes

13. “And she is not petite, Lars. Bianca is a big, big girl!”  Jayme (via Facebook) & Jill – Lars and the Real Girl

14. “I don’t want to go with the pig face!”  Jayme (via Facebook) – Dan in Real Life

15. “You’re a fake and a phony and I wish I never laid eyes on you!”  Jennifer (via Facebook) – Grease

16. “Mom still cries every time she sees a tilt-a-whirl or a fat lady in a tube top.”

17. “You know, I’ve always liked that word … ‘gargantuan” … I so rarely have an opportunity to use it in a sentence.” AnaLeah (via Facebook) – Kill Bill: Vol. 2

18. “I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.” My mom (kinda) & Tracy – When Harry Met Sally

19. “I carried a watermelon?“  Emily (via Facebook) – Dirty Dancing

20. “I want space, not just air, let ‘em laugh in my face, I don’t care.”

Fringe & Teal

I hate clothes shopping.  It’s not that I don’t like clothes; quite the contrary.  I actually have a deep appreciation for clothing.  I am pretty particular in fact.  Therein lies my problem.  It’s rare for me to find clothes I really love.  Couple that with the ridiculous cost of most clothing I actually like, and I am doubly frustrated.  There’s an episode of Gilmore Girls (how many times have I written that?) in which Lorelai experiences my same frustration while clothes shopping with Rory.  She laments that there are no clothes for her anymore; “The Lorelai look is out!”  Yeah, well if the past few years have taught me anything clothes-wise, it’s that the Sarah look is out too.  Everything looks so young … and cheap.  Just this week a woman and her daughter came into work, and the mom said something about going shopping with her daughter to make sure she doesn’t end up looking like a hooker.  Yep, that’s how I would characterize much of what’s offered up these days … hooker-esque.

However, over the past couple of weeks I have seen what appears to be a glimmer of hope.  While doing a little back-to-school-clothes-shopping myself, I noticed (much to my delight) a prevalence of teal among the fall fashions.  Even more to my delight did I notice a peppering of fringe!

I’m not exactly sure where my teal obsession stems from.  Over the past year or so, I’ve been really drawn to that color.  I do, however, remember a scene from “The Wedding Planner” in which Jennifer Lopez (as the wedding planner) predicts the failure of a particular marriage down to the month based solely on the fact that the bride chose teal as the color for her bridesmaid dresses.  Well, her teal dissing didn’t stop me from my recent pretty teal nail polish purchase at Urban Outfitters.

The origin of my fringe fanaticism is much more clear.  Remember how the opening credits to The Cosby Show would change theme from season to season?  They had the same music, but always a different style.  Well, on one particular season, all of the Huxtables were decked out in their swankiest attire as they each took a turn dancing with Cliff.  I still remember Sondra in a simple black fringe dress with a little pink jacket.   You probably wouldn’t even notice it until Cliff spins her around and the fringe fulfills its destiny.  I LOVED that dress growing up!  I even talked about duplicating it for a high school dance, although I don’t think I got asked to that particular one.  : )  Fringe even makes its way into my beloved Gilmore Girls.  Rory is convincing Lorelai to attend her community college graduation, and Lorelai mentions looking forward to wearing her graduation cap, “for the tassel, ’cause you know my thing for fringe.”  Most recently I’ve talked about how I wanted to incorporate fringe into my bridesmaid dresses someday.  This prompted quite the eye roll from Sydnie Davidson … you just wait, sister friend!

Mmm … teal bridesmaid dresses with FRINGE!  Wonder what the expiration date is on that one?

Ready

It is an incredibly beautiful day.  A day that naturally lends itself to a long run, and I am elated to be on the other side of twelve miles – further than I’ve ever run in my life.  I couldn’t have imagined better conditions for such a feat.  The air was cool but not cold, the wind almost nonexistent, the sun bright but not glaring.  I was hydrated, carb-loaded and halfway well rested. The stars were aligned. Add to the mix my fabulous running partner and the fact that some of our friends happened to drive by honking/waving/yelling for us at about four miles and then again at six; it felt almost like a real race day. 

About halfway in to our run I started thinking about race day.  At last year’s marathon (where I ran the half) I stood at the starting line beside a girl about my age running her first marathon.  Her face revealed a mix of anticipation and excitement along with some obvious nervousness.  Her boyfriend or coach spoke encouragement over her, reminding her that this day was nothing to worry about.  She had prepared well, and the training was the hardest part.  Her job was to enjoy this day and let it be the crowning achievement of all the work she had already put in. 

Last month I saw Spirit of the Marathon, a documentary chronicling the training and then races of six runners participating in the 2005 Chicago marathon.  The documentarians chose an eclectic bunch.  There was a 70 year old repeat marathoner training and running with his first time participant daughter.  There was an elite Kenyan, hoping to finally take first in Chicago after two or three previous attempts.  There was an Olympic bronze medal winner hoping to win her first marathon ever.  And then there was me.  Well, for all intents and purposes she could have been me.  A 26 year old runner, she was planning to run her first marathon ever after having completed a half the previous year.  Something she said on race morning stuck out to me, and in light of the day of grace which was today, I am cautioned to remember that not all running days are quite so gracious. 

As she got ready to head out for her first 26.2, she prepared mentally for the possibility of failure.  Now that may sound defeatist, but I was encouraged and even inspired by her honesty and realism.  She had prepared well.  She put in the effort – all the long runs and speed work and cross training.  She was ready.  But sometimes things are out of our hands.  All the factors that made today a great running day for me could have easily gone the other way.  There’s the possibility that come April 27^th it could be freezing or worse, sweltering.  The wind may blow as a formidable opponent.  I could get sick.  I could pull a muscle.  Chances are that race day will fall somewhere between the extremes of utopian bliss and all out disaster.  But I know, just like my Spirit of the Marathon kindred spirit, that whatever external factors stack up against me, my failure won’t be because I’m unprepared.  

Because on April 27^th, I will be ready. 

12.01.06

Yesterday as I began to put some Neosporin on a recently aquired “cardboard cut” on my finger, I thought to myself, “Hmm, I wonder when this expires.”  Flipping the tube over, I saw stamped in tiny print “EXP 2/2002.”  There are several things I cling to from my college days; little did I know that Neosporin was one of them.

Today is the second in a line of snow days for the university.  Snow days are both bad and good for hall directors … bad in that we are considered essential staff and therefore have to be on call for our respective buildings, good in that the rest of the university is closed which drastically reduces the amount of email/phonecalls I have to mess with, not to mention the fact that I don’t technically have to be in my office.  However for students, snow days produce nothing short of jubilation.  It’s been fun to witness the screaming down the halls, “Classes are cancelled tomorrow!” and see the red faces of those just in from sledding on trash bags or air matresses. 

I, too, was looking forward to Thursday once I heard the university was closed.  My intent was to sleep in a little that morning and then get some major organizing/catching up/cleaning done in my office that afternoon.  Ha.  Instead, I was paged at 8:30 that morning to come and take care of an “incident.”  Some day when there’s a little more distance between myself and my HD days, I will have to write some sort of memoir about all such “incidents,” but for now I’ll just leave it at that.  The rest of my day was spent preparing for “Hanks for the Memories.”

A little background: A few years ago at a small gathering of high school friends over some sort of college break, my friend Amanda mentioned a movie marathon that she had particpated in a few weeks before.  Some friends of hers had began hosting twenty four hour movie marathons with those who stayed awake the whole time winning commemorative t-shirts.  That year they made it a Tom Hanks tribute and called it “Hanks for the Memories.”  Now considering that I rarely have an original idea for a program, I decided to copy this fabulous event and two years ago West Hall hosted its own very first HFTM. 

So it’s Hanks time again this year, and just look at the adorable t-shirt girls will get for sticking it out the whole 24 hours!

As a disclaimer, nowhere in this post did I say that we would actually be watching movies, much less mention any specific flick.  You know, copyright and all.

 So after risking my life and the lives of three of my RAs to finish getting all HFTM supplies yesterday amidst the sleet, snow, and cold, I am happy to report that all is ready for the big event.  And with it being a snow day and all, I even got to sleep in this morning.

10.25.06

A few weeks ago I crossed another movie off my Best Picture to watch list.  While I didn’t love it as much as I had hoped, I did feel that Out of Africa had some significant things to say about relationships between men and women.  And while I tend to put a lot out there regarding my life, I have been particularly guarded concerning my own relationship issues or lack thereof … the internet is not the appropriate forum.  However, something Meryl Streep’s character said in the movie has remained with me, and I feel it deserves to be expanded upon.

 

Karen Blixen moves to Kenya after marrying the brother of her lover out of sheer convenience.  Her marriage inevitably falls apart as her new husband cheats on her repeatedly, even infecting her with syphilis.  In the midst of all this she falls in love with Denys, a rugged, free spirited hunter who provides all the adventure and affection Karen could hope for.  As their relationship deepens, Karen begins to battle her own expectations and desires for the relationship knowing they do not mirror her new lover’s.  As progressive as she is, at her core she still desires the one thing Denys will not give: commitment.

 

Karen’s love for Denys compels her to live life on his terms.  He moves in with her, coming and going as he pleases, always leaving her wanting more.  I don’t doubt that he loves her; he just loves himself more.  In one heated discussion Karen says, “I used to think that there was nothing that you really wanted, but that’s not it, is it?  You want to have it all!”  Perhaps the older I get, the more jaded I become in regard to guys, but I can’t help affirming that statement with a hearty amen. 

 

I recently read an article entitled “Not Your Buddy” that seeks to address some problems with close male/female “friendships.”  First I would like to say that I am in no way against friendships between men and women.  I believe they are healthy and beneficial.  However, I do have a problem with “friendships” that from the outside could be mistaken as dating, although no such discussion has been had on the inside.  There’s this new phenomenon called “hanging out” in which a guy can initiate all sorts of contact without running the risk of rejection or having to offer any sort of commitment … it’s that whole “having it all” thing.  In her article Suzanne Hadley writes, “Single men and women are failing each other. Uncommitted intimate friendships may satiate immediate needs, but they lead to frustration and heartache. Not to mention, for singles ready for marriage, these ‘friendships’ waste time and energy.”

 

My favorite line from Out of Africa comes near the end of that heated conversation.  Karen tells Denys, “I have learned a thing that you haven’t.  There are some things worth having, but they come at a price.  And I want to be one of them.”  Amen, sister friend.  I’m not saying that women should be considered as pretty pretty princesses sitting on pedestals having their every wish and whim catered to.  I’m saying that women do themselves a great disservice by persisting in relationships in which men do not honor them.   Women are worth the pursuit, but it seems as though neither sex believes it.

07.15.06

I love summer Friday afternoons.  Getting off work at noon is fabulous.  I particularly enjoyed yesterday afternoon … no real plans other than sneaking in a last minute bid to win Fray tickets.  So I decided to visit one of my favorite places on campus: the UCO library.  While I enjoy reading and occasionally check out books, my UCO library visits are more often to check out movies for free, which was my intent yesterday afternoon.  I needed a mindless way to pass the time before the auction ended, and watching a movie seemed the perfect escape.  Now you may be wondering why I call the library one of my favorite places on campus.  Is it the vast amount of books waiting at my fingertips?  No.  Is it the random collection of CDs?  No.  Is it the decent selection of films new and old?  No.  My fascination with and love for the UCO library lies in its architecture. 

A four story building, the library has stairs that begin on the ground level and ascend straight up to the fourth floor with no turns or curves.  You can see the top of the stairs from the bottom, and the bottom from the top.  The first time I saw these stairs I thought, “I wanna get married in the UCO library.”  Think about it, girls … how cool would it be to stand at the top of the stairs in your wedding dress, looking down at all of your friends and family and most importantly your soon to be husband?  And guys … imagine seeing your soon to be wife for the first time, looking the most beautiful she has ever looked, slowly coming into focus as she descends the four story staircase.  It’s a beautiful picture.

Now I’m only half serious about getting married in the UCO library, but it is a fun thought every time I frequent it.  And the movies just happen to be on the fourth floor … a terrific reason to take the stairs. 

So yesterday I made the ascent and after a careful search, settled on an 80s John Hughes flick I have been wanting to see for some time.  I knew it was about time to watch “Some Kind of Wonderful” after Lorelai referenced it just before her first date with Luke saying, “Alright, but no taking me to an art museum after hours and then to an empty Hollywood Bowl where you’ll give me a pair of diamond earrings that you bought with your college money, when all the time you’re really in love with your best friend, the drummer, who’s posing as our driver for the evening.”  And let me just say … sad day that I had not seen this movie sooner!  Obviously I am a sucker for quotes, so I thought I’d share some of my faves from the film:

“You know, exposing your skin to sunlight will make you old before your time.  And eventually you’ll look like an albino raisin.”

“Well, I like art, I work in a gas station, my best friend is a tomboy. These things don’t fly too well in the American high school.”

And in my opinion one of the most fabulous last lines of a movie, “You look good wearing my future.”

Oh … and I won my auction!  Fray, here we come!

06.04.06

A few years ago I decided that I wanted to watch every movie that ever won the Academy Award for Best Picture.  I was on a roll for awhile, but lately have been neglecting my Oscar goal.  This summer I believe I’ll try to knock a few more off the list.  As of today, I’m 46 for 78.  Just in case you were wondering, here is a list of all the winners with the ones I’ve seen marked in bold.

1928 – Wings

1929 – The Broadway Melody

1930 – All Quiet on the Western Front

1931 – Cimarron

1932 – Grand Hotel

1933 – Cavalcade

1934 – It Happened One Night

1935 – Mutiny on the Bounty

1936 – The Great Ziegfeld

1937 – The Life of Emile Zola

1938 – You Can’t Take It with You

1939 – Gone with the Wind

1940 – Rebecca

1941 – How Green Was My Valley

1942 – Mrs. Miniver

1943 – Casablanca

1944 – Going My Way

1945 – The Lost Weekend

1946 – The Best Years of Our Lives

1947 – Gentlemen’s Agreement

1948 – Hamlet

1949 – All the King’s Men

1950 – All About Eve

1951 – An American in Paris

1952 – The Greatest Show on Earth

1953 – From Here to Eternity

1954 – On the Waterfront

1955 – Marty

1956 – Around the World in 80 Days

1957 – The Bridge on the River Kwai

1958 – Gigi

1959 – Ben Hur

1960 – The Apartment

1961 – West Side Story

1962 – Lawrence of Arabia

1963 – Tom Jones

1964 – My Fair Lady

1965 – The Sound of Music

1966 – A Man for All Seasons

1967 – In the Heat of the Night

1968 – Oliver!

1969 – Midnight Cowboy

1970 – Patton

1971 – The French Connection

1972 – The Godfather 1973 – The Sting1974 – The Godfather Part II1975 – One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest1976 – Rocky1977 – Annie Hall

1978 – The Deer Hunter

1979 – Kramer vs. Kramer1980 – Ordinary People1981 – Chariots of Fire1982 – Gandhi1983 – Terms of Endearment

1984 – Amadeus

1985 – Out of Africa

1986 – Platoon

1987 – The Last Emperor

1988 – Rain Man

1989 – Driving Miss Daisy

1990 – Dances with Wolves

1991 – The Silence of the Lambs

1992 – Unforgiven

1993 – Schindler’s List1994 – Forrest Gump1995 – Braveheart1996 – The English Patient1997 – Titanic1998 – Shakespeare in Love1999 – American Beauty2000 – Gladiator2001 – A Beautiful Mind

2002 – Chicago

2003 – Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King

2004 – Million Dollar Baby

2005 – Crash

04.27.06

Last night while working the front desk for one of my RAs I watched “Capote.”  All I really knew about the movie was that it was about the true crime novel “In Cold Blood” and that Phillip Seymour Hoffman won Best Actor for his performance playing Truman Capote.  Plenty to warrant a 99-cent rental from 7-11.  The movie begins with Hoffman’s chilling voiceover, “On the night of November 14th, two men broke into a quiet farmhouse in Kansas and murdered an entire family.”  The movie chronicles Capote’s life as he chronicles the lives of these two men.  Truman grows close to one of the men in particular, Perry Smith, who proves to be a goldmine of information for Truman’s book.  A tension runs through their relationship as Truman is obviously using Perry for his own glory.  The movie portrays Truman Capote as particularly insecure, drunk off the praises of others, and extremely jealous.  At the film premiere of his good friend Nelle Harper Lee’s new book “To Kill a Mockingbird” (How cool is that?  Who knew they were friends?) Truman cannot even muster one word of encouragement or excitement for his dear friend, but somehow manages to turn the conversation back to himself.  His almost nonexistant caring side is best seen in his relationship with Perry.  He has a real connection with the man and at one point tells Nelle, “It’s as if Perry and I grew up in the same house. And one day he went out the back door and I went out the front.”

All of this, and that quote in particular, made me think about the recent murder of a young girl here in Oklahoma.  What finally ignites within a person that they would choose to murder someone?  Obviously there are murders for money, over jealousy, out of rage or insanity, but that’s not exactly what I’m thinking about.  How does a seemingly normal person go from normal to taking pleasure in the thought of killing another person they don’t even know?

In my Intro to Ministry class at OBU, I remember Dr. Kelly saying something about rejecting the “T” in Calvin’s TULIP.  He didn’t see humanity as totally depraved, but wondered how much of the image of God we held onto after the fall.  I think it’s a shame when people are written off as pure evil, as if they were somehow beyond redemption.  Kevin Ray Underwood hit a ten year old girl in the head with a cutting board, smothered her, sexually molested her corpse, and tried to cut off her head.  At first when I heard of this tragedy, I was outraged.  What a sicko.  I read as much as I could about the case.  (If you’re interested, the best article I’ve read is at http://newsok.com/article/1823737/ .)  And then I read Underwood’s blog.  I’m not sure what I expected to read, but I was surprised.  I guess I thought that he would sound crazy.  But he sounded intelligent.  Obviously he had issues to deal with, but I wasn’t able to write him off as I had been so eager to do previously.  In one entry he writes:

The best explanation for why I am the way I am. From an unquoted source.

“It is not difficult to understand how children who have suffered from malnutrition or starvation need food and plenty of care if their bodies are to recover so they can go on to lead normal lives. If, however, the starvation is severe enough, the damage will be permanent and they will suffer physical impairments for the rest of their lives. Likewise, children who are deprived of emotional nurturing require care and love if their sense of security and self-confidence is to be restored. However, if love is minimal, and abuse high, the damage will be permanent and the children will suffer emotional impairments for the rest of their lives.”

Hear me, I am in no way making excuses for what he did.  It was awful.  Just awful.  However, I don’t think it’s as simple as saying that Kevin Ray Underwood is an evil man.  In his book “Searching for God Knows What” Donald Miller writes something that echoes my own heart as I attempt to make sense of this crime. “I happened to see Larry King interview Billy Graham shortly after the shootings at Columbine High School in Littleton, Colorado.  I had read an article the previous month about violent video games and their effects on the minds of children, desensitizing them to the act of killing.  Larry King asked Billy Graham what was wrong with the world, and how such a thing as Columbine could happen.  I knew, because Billy Graham was an educated man, he had read the same article I had read, and I began calculating an answer for him, that violence begets violence, that we live in a culture desensitized to the beauty of human life and the sanctity of creation.  But Billy Graham did not blame video games.  Billy Graham looked Larry King in the eye and said, ‘Thousands of years ago, a young couple in love lived in a garden called Eden, and God placed a tree in the Garden and told them not to eat from the tree…’ And I knew in my soul he was right.”

So I will pray for Jamie Bolin’s family.  But I will also pray for Kevin Ray Underwood.  Lord God, have mercy on us.

04.02.06

Of all the nights to not be tired, “Spring Forward” night probably isn’t the best one.  Thankfully I don’t have to go to church tomorrow morning … I went tonight.  However, I was thinking about visiting random churches now that my Sunday mornings are free, just for some diversity.  I was planning on visiting the church that my Houston friend Stacey and I visited for a semester while at OBU.  We actually drove almost an hour every Sunday morning from Shawnee to Edmond, and now that I’ve lived in Edmond for almost two years, I haven’t visited once.  Next week I’m visiting my old church (in south OKC that I also commuted to while living in Shawnee) because they are using a video of my friend’s testimony in the service.  It’s always nice to see faces I haven’t seen in quite awhile.

Well, this weekend I have watched three movies, none of which I loved, but the best of which I have posted as my “currently watching.”  Black and white, three hours long, with subtitles … not the kind of movie you call up your friends to come over and watch, at least not most of my friends.  I was proud of myself when midway through the movie Nico made an appearance as herself, and I knew who she was.  (Thank you, Gilmore Girls, for ever-broadening my pop-cultural horizons.)  I was on call Friday, and actually got called out about midway through the movie.  I got to see DPS kick in a door, which was somewhat exciting.  It might be cooler to say I was assisting in a drug bust, but alas it was just a smoke alarm going off. 

Today I watched “Gangs of New York” and “The Barbarian Invasions.”  Gangs was fine, although nothing’s really stuck with me.  Invasions won best foreign language film a few years ago, and according to the New York Daily News quote on the back cover, it’s supposed to be “A Deeply Felt Celebration Of Life!”  Hmm … if you call euthanization celebrating life.  Honestly I thought the dying man’s life pathetic.  A mediocre professor, he cheats on his wife with numerous young co-eds, but as he lay dying in the hospital from cancer, his son has to bribe three of his students to even come visit him.  At one point his young friend (not to mention heroin supplier) asks him what he loves about life.  Women, wine, travel … however because of his age and disease he no longer is able to enjoy these things.  She responds, “It’s not the present you cling to.  It’s your past life.  That life is already dead.”  In the end he is left with nothing but memories of fleeting pleasures.  For a film billed as “a funny look at all the things that invade our lives,” I didn’t find it that funny.

Concert countdown: 3 days

Poverty is so hard to seeWhen it’s only on your TV and twenty miles across townWhere we’re all living so goodThat we moved out of Jesus’ neighborhoodWhere He’s hungry and not feeling so goodFrom going through our trashHe says, “More than just your cash and coinI want your time, I want your voice

I want the things you just can’t give me”

03.26.06

I am not currently watching Kill Bill, Volume 2; I am currently listening to an audio web chat between Derek Webb and Donald Miller … good stuff … you can listen to it too at http://derekwebbchat.com/audiochat.php. 

I did, however, watch Kill Bill, Volume 2 yesterday with one of my RAs.  I usually don’t rewatch a whole lot of movies, but I do enjoy watching good movies again if it’s with people who have  never seen them.  I also rewatched In Her Shoes this weekend with Sydnie, but I didn’t enjoy it near as much the second time around.  However, some movies do get better upon multiple viewings, KB2 being one of them, so I was more than excited to introduce Anna, a fellow Tarantino appreciator, to what I would deem the better of the two Kill Bills.  I liked Volume 1 okay, but I’m not a big fan of action … I pretty much get bored during action sequences.  Volume 2 is much more dialogue driven, which appeals to me way more than action (maybe because I’m a girl) … “You know, I’ve always liked that word, ‘gargantuan.’  I so rarely have the opportunity to use it in a sentence.”

Anyway, I thought I would post the answers to my little music quiz.  Here ya go:

1. The 59th St. Bridge Song (or Feelin’ Groovy) – Simon and Garfunkel
2. Sitting, Waiting, Wishing – Jack Johnson
3. In You – Jeff Berry
4. All Through the Night – Cyndi Lauper
5. Cruel Summer – Bananarama
6. Susan Coats’ Pants – Randall Goodgame
7. You Ought to Be with Me – Al Green
8. Country Road – James Taylor
9. Praise to the Lord Almighty – Jill Phillips
10. Travelin’ – Josh Kelley
11. Cheer Up – Bob Marley
12. Come for Me – Charlie Hall
13. Before There Was Time – Caedmon’s Call
14. There’s a Tear in My Beer – Hank Williams
15. Take It All Back – David Matsler
16. Chem 6A – Switchfoot
17. When She Believes – Ben Harper
18. Revive Me – Jeremy Camp
19. Staring at the Sun – U2
20. This World – Caedmon’s Call

Hmm, not that much else to say.  I am way excited to get to see Jackie tonight as well as the other “yaya” girls.  Looking more and more forward to the Derek Webb concert … almost a week away.  From “Thankful”:

 

 I ran across an old box of lettersWhile I was bagging up some clothes for GoodwillYou know I had to laugh that the same old strugglesThat plagued me then are plaguing me stillI know the road is long from the ground to gloryBut a boy can hope he’s getting some placeBut you see, I’m running from the very clothes I’m wearingAnd dressed like this I’m fit for the chase I am thankful that I’m incapable

Of doing any good on my own

02.19.06

It’s almost three in the morning, on a Sunday morning at that, and I don’t feel the least bit guilty for staying up so late.  Last week I bought a shirt that says, “I’m sleeping in on Sunday morning.”  This is all thanks to the wonderful addition of a Saturday night service at my church.  I love it.

I hadn’t seen Elizabethtown until tonight.  It was different than I thought it would be.  Somehow I got it in my head that it was about a road trip, which it kind of is, but that doesn’t happen until the last five minutes of the movie.  I’m glad I watched it, but I probably wouldn’t watch it again.  According to IMDB, Crowe has written the screenplays for eight movies, six of which he directed.  Of the eight, I’ve seen seven, and if I had to put them in order of favorite to least favorite, it would look something like this:

1. Say Anything (A boy can hold a boom box up to my window any day … unless he’s a stalker or something.)

2. Fast Times at Ridgemont High (The ultimate 80s movie … ”What are you, people?  On dope?”)

3. Almost Famous (Makes me want to ride on a bus and sing “Tiny Dancer.”)

4. Elizabethtown (Hmm … not a fan of Kirsten Dunst’s on again off again southern accent, but I did like her hat.)

5. Singles (I barely remember this movie, but I know I liked it better than these next two.)

6. Jerry Maguire (Ugh, I hate the line “You complete me.”)

7. Vanilla Sky (I didn’t like any of the characters.  Not one.  Visually, I could appreciate this movie, but that was about it.)

Oh, and Katrina didn’t win the free wedding … sad day!  At least this way she gets to get married on the date and at the location she chose.  Again, thanks to all who lent their name to a ballot.

01.01.06

Let’s see … how did I spend New Year’s Eve?  Oh, that’s right … on the couch recovering from a horrible stomach virus.  After throwing up four times within a two hour period, my precious friend Sydnie took me to the hospital where I got my first ever I.V.  Thankfully, I have given blood before, so I was somewhat prepared.  I later counted down the new year with Barbra Streisand and Kris Kristopherson in the 2nd remake of A Star Is Born … it was on PBS.  A New Year’s to remember!