This Run’s for Jack

Okay, Tracy, this update’s for you. 

So I have been blog-absent the past couple months, and for good reason.  You know you are crazy busy when you feel guilty sleeping/working out/taking showers/putting on makeup because by doing so you’re neglecting homework.  However just today I turned in the last of my three 3000 word papers to complete (along with 1000+ pages reading and 10 hours of Hebrew translation … yeah, came up a little short on those) my TWO HOUR A-quad class.  Yes, two hours.  Two hours of just as much work if not more than any four hour class I’ve taken in my program thus far.  But that is not what this blog’s about, so we’ll desist with the axe grinding.

Actually, as much as I felt overwhelmed with the workload in that class, I’d have to say it’s one of the best I’ve ever taken.  Probably the closest to my hermeneutics class in undergrad, it’s given me a lot to think about.  And write about.  So hopefully that will come soon.

But on to this blog.  This blog’s for Jack.  So for the past year I’ve worked part time as a test prep tutor, helping high school students improve their ACT and SAT scores.  This summer I was assigned to a wonderful family that I immediately clicked with over a mutual love for running.  It turned out that Sharon had lost her husband to Melanoma four years ago and had since started a running charity to raise money for Melanoma research and awareness.  Teams raise support and then run in marathons and half marathons all over the country, and in the fall, the charity sponsors a local 5K race called “This Run’s for Jack.”  One afternoon tutoring session, Sharon came up with a handful of old race shirts and a stack of brochures, encouraging me to run this year’s race and anyone else I could convince as well.

Over the summer I had trained for the Chicago Half Marathon in September.  Training went well, although it took up a lot of time.  However, race day was kinda sucky.  It was hot (for Chicago in September) and humid, and the course was really boring.  I’m not a fan of there-and-backs, and running one alone sans music is really not fun.  I didn’t meet my goal, although I did beat my first half marathon time from a few years back.  Anyway, I was glad to see the day come and go and was thankful for the added time in my schedule … remember the whole guilt trip for working out?    But the thought of a 5K was appealing; workout-wise, it’s good for me to have goals I’m working toward.

So I ran a couple miles here and there, just figuring the 5K would be a fun race.  I convinced my cousin to run with me, knowing that she’d push me come race day.  However, the week before I got a message on Facebook announcing the results of a 5K some friends of mine in Oklahoma did.  They did a great job, a couple of them placing in their age divisions.  And here’s where my competitive spirit raised its pretty head.    One of these people who happened to place, I happened to have dated, and suddenly I happened to want to beat him.  I told my cousin as much, so that was our goal for race day.

So fast forward to race morning.  My plan was to get up early and take a pre-race shower.  When I told my roommate this, she looked at me like I was completely ridiculous.  What is the point of showering right before you’re gonna get sweaty and gross, you might ask.  I’ll tell you the point, friends.  It’s hot water.  It’s a miracle waker-upper.  And it doesn’t hurt to look clean and put together at any gathering with potentially available physically fit males, either.    So the whole shower thing was the plan, but at 7:11 that morning I woke up to a text message from Jayme asking where I was.  The late night scary movie with the roommate the night before proved to be my undoing as evidently I had slept through my alarm.  Frantically I raced around, throwing on clothes and grabbing a piece of cinnamon raisin bread and some gatorade as I head out the door, however forgetting my super-fantastic GPS watch.

Anyway, we fortunately made it to the race site with time to spare, and Jayme was able to pick up her packet with no hassle.  And then we raced.

Glen Ellyn in the fall is incredibly beautiful.  The course meandered through neighborhoods with elegant old houses and trees with leaves of every fall color imaginable kissing in the middle of the street.  Without my watch to tell us how far we’d gone and how much time had passed, we were left guessing until we saw the clock at mile one.  I was a little worried because I thought we’d started too fast and didn’t think I’d be able to keep up that pace.  We ran up some difficult hills and made up some time on a fabulous long downhill just before rounding a lovely little lake.  We circled back to the park where the race began and strided in that last .1 of a mile.  And let me just tell you how thankful I am for my speedy little cousin, because we finished over two minutes under our goal.

And as if that wasn’t enough, it turns out that we placed!  Jayme got 3rd in the women’s 20-24 division, and I got 2nd in the women’s 25-29.  So it was a pretty good day for us; now if we can just convince our family to run in the Amarillo Turkey Trot with us on Thanksgiving Day …

Pre-Race

Post-Race

In Search of the STOF Man

I liked my last boyfriend for three reasons.  He was older, taller, and smarter than me.  Granted, he was only older by a few months, taller by a few inches, and smarter by, well, I didn’t ever ask his SAT scores, but I am fairly certain they were better than mine.  (He never did beat me at Connect 4, though.)  Obviously I valued more than those three characteristics, but it was a running joke I shared with friends at the time … my three “non-negotiables.”

Anyway, I was pretty amused to happen upon a similar list in the book I’ve been reading the past couple days.  Rachel Toor dedicates a chapter of her memoir, “Personal Record: A Love Affair with Running,” to her search for the ideal man who in her opinion is STYF: Smarter, Taller, Younger, and Faster.  She acknowledges the difficulty of defining smarter, but goes on to explain, “I need to be with someone whose mind zigs and zags in ways that enchant me, whether by listening to him talk about Penrose tiles or by watching him pack a moving truck.  Likewise, I want someone who wants me because he likes the sounds my sentences make on those rare occasions when they sing.”  I could not have said it better myself.

Taller is pretty self explanatory, but younger was a surprise.  Being in her 40s, Toor feels younger men are more comfortable around strong women.  She muses, “Show me a fellow who can articulate why he hates everything Hilary Clinton stands for but would never think to call her ‘opinionated’ and that’s a guy I’d like to date.”  Younger men for her aren’t patronizing.  Being that I’m nowhere near 40, and most of the guys she’s referring to as younger than her are still older than me, I’m sticking with my initial desire … older is better.  Bring on the maturity!

The title of the chapter in which this STYF discussion occurs is “Speed Goggles.”  As opposed to beer goggles.  For Toor, this one attribute has the potential to override the previous three.  “I find out that someone who seemed stupid, old, and short can still run a 2:30 marathon?  Come on over, big boy.”  Considering I am nowhere near the runner Toor is, I don’t think it should be very hard to find a guy faster than me!  And while I wouldn’t rank this trait at the top of the list, I’m happy to tag it on at the end.  I would love a running partner, someone better than me willing to condescend to my level, making me better.

Toor conludes the chapter by writing, “I’ve given up on trying to find a STYF man; he’s proved as elusive as an ivory-billed woodpecker.  Plus, I’ve come to accept that I’m not everyone’s cup of decaf skim chai: I don’t cook, and I’m kind of mean.  At this point I’d settle for an interesting running partner who pushes me to keep up and never calls me ‘opinionated’; someone who teaches me new things and knows the value of a semicolon.  If that’s still too much to ask, maybe what I really need is a dog.”

Well, I’m not dog shopping yet.  I don’t really cook either, but I’m not mean.  And I’m too young to give up on the dream of, in my case, a STOF man.

Get in Shape, Girl!

My friend’s husband recently wrote a blog about his health and fitness goals for the upcoming year which made me realize I had yet to write about my own as previously promised.  Now there’s a bonus incentive, however, because if I link to his post in this post, I might get a free book.  Yay.

Anyone my age or a little older perhaps may remember the following:

Oh my word, did I LOVE anything and everything “Get in Shape Girl!” as a child!  I had the leg warmers, the arm bands, and the weird hula hoop with a bar across the middle … I’m still not sure exactly what I was supposed to do with it.  All that to say that even as a child, I was excited about physical fitness.  Granted, I may not have always loved PE or sports (that came a little later), but at thee years old I was in dance classes and kept it up through my senior year of high school.  I played sports in middle school as an alternative to PE and happened to fall in love with volleyball which I played through my senior year as well.

And then came college.  All the sudden, life was totally different.  There was no more volleyball or dance to keep me active.  There was cafeteria food and late night Taco Bueno runs.  The cumulative effect was not good.  I started gaining weight my freshman year and didn’t stop until the middle of my senior year when I finally got serious about becoming active again.  I started doing step aerobics while home over Christmas break, and continued with a class at OBU that spring semester.  I started using the elliptical while I read magazines.  I built up my endurance in fun ways so that when I started running with some friends the following year, I didn’t have to start at ground zero.  Running has since become my favorite form of work out, which is odd in that I used to despise it.

But working out is only half of it.  There’s the food side as well.  I was a VERY picky eater as a child.  I went through a phase where the only thing I would eat was Chef Boyardee Beefaroni.  Go ahead, make the gagging noises with me now.    I hated most vegetables, too.  Thankfully, my parents didn’t keep much junk food in the house or I would have been an obese child, I’m sure of it!  Like I said, I was a pretty active kid and I would say around average in terms of weight.  I don’t ever remember thinking much about my weight until middle school.  I hit puberty early and looked older and more developed than most of my skinny-minnie prepubescent friends.  In 8th grade I started to think I was fat (which I absolutely was not), a self concept which wasn’t helped by a particular thoughtless comment about my weight made by a classmate.  Talk about the power of words.  I started counting calories and working out as much as I could, and honestly, if not for a fortuitous suggestion from my mother, I undoubtedly would have followed down the road so many other young girls have taken and turned to anorexia or bulimia.

Just before the end of my 8th grade year, my mom suggested we do a weight loss Bible study together.  The thought of dieting was not appealing to me because I just knew I would have to eat things I hated.  (My childhood pickiness hadn’t evolved that much.)  However, the premise of this diet/Bible study was that one could eat whatever he/she wanted as long as it was only done within the bounds of hunger and fullness.  And while I have since come to have serious qualms with this particular Bible study’s use of Scripture and oversimplification of nutrition, it could not have come at a more opportune time in my life.  I soon realized what a hold food had on me, idolatrously so at times.  I learned to eat smaller portions and stopped eating out of boredom, and as a result I lost about twenty pounds.  I started my freshman year of high school feeling good about myself and my appearance.  Volleyball helped me keep my weight within about a ten pound range, and even though I sometimes felt “fat” in comparison to other girls my age, I look back at pictures of myself in high school and think, “What the heck was I thinking?!  If only I could look like that now!”

So if college was bad for physical activity, it was worse for eating unhealthily.  I developed some really bad habits in terms of food choices and portion size.  I remembered everything I had learned in that BIble study but was unable and often unwilling to submit to its principles.  Food became more of a spiritual struggle for me than it had ever been.  As I gained more and more weight, I would look at myself in the mirror and not even recognize the person looking back at me.  I would see pictures of myself and not believe it was me.  I was a skinny person inside a fat person’s body, so for a good portion of my college days I never felt like myself.

Starting to work out again my senior year helped, at least in not gaining more weight.  I tried to only eat when I was hungry and then to make healthier choices, but it was extremely difficult.  My roommate and I did the South Beach diet for two weeks, and it was perhaps the longest two weeks of my life.    I have learned over the years that I am NOT a dieter.  If I don’t like something, I am not going to force myself to eat it.  I cannot deprive myself of my favorite things indefinitely.  After college I lost weight on and off through exercise, but nursed bad eating habits on and off as well.

A couple years later I saw a friend of mine who I hadn’t seen in several months, and she looked amazing.  She hadn’t been overweight before, but she had lost a little weight and basically just looked fit.  This was right at the peak of my dissatisfaction with myself in terms of weight loss.  I had come to learn that I could somewhat control my weight through exercise, but the poor nutrition choices I had been sowing into my life for years would someday catch up with me no matter how hard I worked out.  I wanted to be healthy, not just skinny.  For myself and my future family, I wanted to develop lifelong healthy eating habits.  After talking to my friend, I was excited to start her particular program because it focused on life change and not just weight loss.  I started eating small portions several times throughout the day focusing on lean protein and complex carbs.  I tried foods I thought I didn’t like and learned to love them.  I reintroduced weights into my workouts (which I hadn’t done since high school) and did varying intensity cardio training.  Maybe my favorite thing about the program was my free day.  One day a week I didn’t have to work out and could eat whatever I wanted.  I lost weight, had more energy, and felt so much better about myself because I was making long term strides toward health and fitness.  I felt like this was something I could keep up indefinitely because it didn’t feel as much like a program as it did a lifestyle.

That was about two and a half years ago, and I am still a strong believer in this way of eating and working out.  However, there’s the knowing and then there’s the doing.  I know that I am equipped to make the right decisions, but there’s still that mental (and for me, spiritual) battle to be fought.  This past semester I started back to school, and it was all to easy to fall back into my old college habits.  I kept up with running some, but by October the demands of school and work gobbled up any time I had for working out.  Grabbing food on the go was convenient, and I soon abandoned all efforts at making healthy food selections opting instead for what was easy.  And of course, the inevitable happened.  I gained weight.

So I am once again at the place I was when I encountered my skinny friend, with a desire for health and fitness even amidst the stresses of graduate school.  It’s been three weeks in, and I had forgotten how much I actually like living this way.  I say living because that’s what it has to be … lifestyle change.  So here’s to Resolution #1: to make significant strides toward long term health and fitness … to “Get in Shape, Girl!”

2008: Another Illustrated Year in Review

Last year I started a new tradition.  Rather than sending out a Christmas card letter, I wrote a Christmas card letter blog … 2007: An Illustrated Year in Review.  It was a great way to reflect on the past year (good times and bad) and share my experiences with others, not to mention giving myself something to look back on and remember 2007.  So as 2008 has come and gone, I am attempting to answer Jonathan Larson’s melodic question, “How do you measure, measure a year?”

IN JOBS

2008 was my last year in residence life after three years as an RA and four as a Hall Director.  After deciding (finally) to go back to school in the fall, I closed down West Hall for the last time in May.  I have so many great memories from my years at UCO, and it was certainly hard to leave.  I especially miss all my RAs (my favorite part of the job was leading the staff) and fellow HDs.  Soon after moving to Wheaton, I began working at Bath & Bodyworks and then in the fall picked up a job watching a couple boys after school three days a week.  About midway through the semester I also started tutoring a girl for the ACT.  I didn’t necessarily plan to work that much, and it was definitely a hard balancing act with the demands of graduate school.  I hope to cut back or at least balance a little better this spring.

IN MILES

Hmm, I guess this applies in more ways than one!  If I hadn’t completely uprooted and driven over a thousand miles across the country to begin school this fall, I would certainly count running a marathon as the year’s highlight.  Back last fall my good friend Jamie volunteered to train and one my first marathon with me in April.  We logged many a mile over our five months of training, becoming quite1450 familiar with almost every street in Edmond and on a few long runs, Oklahoma City as well.  We had a good race and met my initial goal of breaking five hours with a time of 4:43:34.  I was a little disappointed that I didn’t beat Oprah, but there’s always next time … the Chicago marathon is calling my name!

IN GOODBYES

After graduating from OBU in 2004, I immediately moved to Edmond to start my job at UCO.  For four fun years I lived there, and deciding to move away brought a lot of sad goodbyes.  I had the best friends!  A few weeks before I left, my friend Melissa arranged a “slumber party card night” for a few of us that usually got together on Sunday nights.  When I got to her house, it turned out that it was actually a surprise Chicago themed going away party!  Sydnie (one of my very best friends who moved away at the beginning of the year) drove in from Tulsa, and a couple other friends were in from out of town as well.  We played cards (of course) and ate Old Chicago pizza while listening to Chicago (the band) and then watched Chicago (the movie).  The highlight of the night was when the doorbell rang and Candace and Melissa were nowhere to be found.  Everyone looked at me as if it was my responsibility to answer the door.  When I opened it, Candace and Melissa were standing beside a brand new bike with a bow on it!  My sweet friends had all gone in together to replace my bike that was stolen earlier in the summer.  Yeah, did I mention I have the best friends?  The young adult pastor at my church also threw a going away swim party, and I was incredibly blessed by the prayers and encouragement from my brothers and sisters I had so grown to love over the past few years (not to mention being blessed by the amazing bible software I got as a going away gift).  Several of these same friends also showed up to carry boxes and furniture down a pretty narrow stairwell come moving day.  I tried to cram in as much quality time as possible my last night there: dinner with Stacey, prayer time with Conversation Cafe friends, a Wal-Mart run with Rodney, one last game of cards with Melissa, Candace, AnaLeah, and Michelle, and then a goodbye to Todd, Jeanna and Caed (in utero).  I think I cried at each goodbye.

IN FAMILY

I love my family so much, so I’m pretty excited for any occasion that brings us together.  I can count on Thanksgiving and Christmas, but this year my cousin Ericka graduated from high school thus bringing us all together again.  I couldn’t wait to see my uncle Jay and give him the Tim Duncan jersey I got for $3 at a garage sale with Sydnie!  He wore it the next Spurs playoff game which unfortunately they lost.  This year also marked another momentous family occasion … Jayme & I getting to live in the same town!  Man, I love that girl; she’s the closest thing I have to a sister and I get to see her all the time now as we’re both at Wheaton.    My sweet, sweet parents and brother helped me get up there, and on the way we stopped in at my great aunt and uncle’s home in Iowa.  Of course we had to watch Field of Dreams.  The last time I’d visited there was about twenty years ago, so it was so interesting to see my grandfather’s home with grown up eyes.

IN CLASSES

The biggest change in my life over the past year was definitely my return to the classroom.  After tossing around the thought for several years, I finally decided on Wheaton and began their Biblical Exegesis program this fall.  This past semester I took Intermediate Greek, New Testament Theology, and Principles of Interpretation (the level of difficulty increasing respectively).  Principles was certainly baptism by fire.  I made it through my twelve page exegesis paper somewhat unscathed, however, and funfetti cupcakes have become my new celebratory indulgence.

IN VISITS

One of the best things about living in such close proximity to Chicago is people’s willingness to come and visit!  A couple weeks after I moved to Wheaton, a couple HHBC friends stopped in for a couple days on their way back to Oklahoma from Michigan.  I had such a blast with Rachel and Jenny and got my first chance to play tour guide … walking tour guide that is.  I bet we walked fifteen miles in one day.  In October my sweet friend and marathon partner Jamie came for a visit.  I gave her a jogging tour of Wheaton in addition to the soon to be trademarked “Sarah’s Walking Tour o’ Chicago.”  We entered our name into a drawing to win vouchers for discounted front row tickets to Wicked, and we won!  My aunt Kaye came up a few weeks later to bring my cousin her car, so the three of us put in the Chicago miles as well.  My last visit of the semester was from three of the card girls.  I was so happy to have AnaLeah, Michelle and Kelsey with me on their fall break.  They came to my NT Theo class Thursday night and then we spent the rest of the weekend in the city.  I won Wicked vouchers AGAIN, so Michelle got to sit front row on her birthday after having a hilarious birthday lunch at Ed Debevic’s.  We shopped the Mag Mile and did other touristy stuff having an incredible time.  Anyone else wanna come visit?  I’ve got the tour guide thing down.

IN FRIENDSHIPS

One of the hardest things about moving was leaving behind some incredible friendships.  From the card girls, to church friends, to the House Church/Coversation Cafe crowd, to coworkers, to Stacey (who defies any category), I was incredibly blessed in Oklahoma, and I knew those friendships couldn’t be replaced wherever I went.  Thankfully, there are great people in Illinois too!  I found a church I really loved relatively quickly after moving, and Susan and Marshall have been incredibly generous to host a 20-somethings small group in their home each week.  I became quick friends with Sharon, Jill and Kristi.  I also made a good friend my first week here after attending a random discussion group.  Kristine has since become my faithful concert buddy.  I’ve been nothing but impressed with my classmates and was thankful to have my co-exegesis friends Angie and Ashley each in one of my classes.  Emily’s a great roommate, and I couldn’t be more excited to have Jayme living just over a mile away.  She makes the family and the friendship category. 

IN CONCERTS

Yes, no end of year summation would be complete without a concert tribute.  I’ve already written about most of these, so we’ll just go with this year’s list:

• Derek Webb – University Baptist Church, Shawnee, OK
• Caedmon’s Call – The Door, Dallas
• Jenny Lewis – Epiphany, Chicago
• Rachel Unthank & The Winterset – Schuba’s, Chicago
• Don Chaffer – The Union, Naperville, IL
• Ray LaMontagne – Chicago Theatre, Chicago
• Andrew Peterson – Hickory Creek Community Church, Frankfort, IL
• Conor Oberst – The Vic, Chicago
• Over the Rhine – The Union, Naperville, IL
• Shawn McDonald – Willow Creek, South Barrington, IL
• Over the Rhine – Double Door, Chicago

Now that I have access to a plethora of great shows, I have reason to add a new list to this category … Shows I Wish I’d Been Able to See:

• Sam Phillips: No excuse!  I should have gone.  Looking back, I would have even taken a loss on a second ticket just to be there.
• Andrew Peterson’s Behold the Lamb of God tour: Who cares that it was nearly two hours away on a school night?  I’ve been wanting to see this Christmas show for years, and it was finally going to be within a feasible driving distance.  A plague upon the paper that kept me at home!
• Derek Webb:  Only one thing could keep me from a solo acoustic Derek Webb show, and that would be the afore-cursed paper.  Yeah, I couldn’t really justify going the day before it was due.  I had hoped; it just didn’t happen.
• Bon Iver: A friend introduced me to this beautiful band earlier in the semester, and I was so excited to see he was playing The Vic in December.  Then I noticed the date was the same as one of my finals.  Seriously, Wheaton, you are completely interfering with my true purpose in living here!

IN MISCELLANEOUS

These are my honorable mentions, I suppose.  I certainly don’t want to forget:

• Volleyball nights at HHBC & Parkview
• My “Tribute to the Twenties” Finer Things Club invitation … No paper.  No plastic.  No talking about work.
• Henderson’s 20 Something Date Auction & subsequent date … Jamie and I raised over $400 auctioning ourselves off for missions, and we got to see Derek Webb. 
• Thursday night LOST parties with Todd & Jeanna
• My last West Hall Academy Awards Gala
• My last Strangers in the Night … my girls got me a date this year!
• Three weddings in two weeks … Kelsey, Anna and then Dave & Teresa
• Last weekend in OK road trip to Dallas … Jamie and I visited Kelly and got to see Shane Claiborne on the Jesus for President book tour.

Well, that about sums it up.  Until next year, friends …

Whatever It Takes

Humor me, but I’ve got one more running post for you guys.

Actually, “training” is a better word. I’ve got one more training post for y’all.

I’ve had a week without running to rest, recuperate, and reflect on the marathon and the five months of training leading up to it. It’s been a nice break, but I must say that it felt good to put my running shoes back on and get a few miles in yesterday. I’ve even started thinking about my next big race … perhaps a half marathon this fall in Chicago? I have realized that I do best when I have a set goal with a clear plan of how to accomplish it. Next race day? September 14th. Training starts? June 23rd.

Last semester, long before Jamie volunteered to train and run the marathon with me, we were engaged in another sort of training together. We met weekly for the purpose of spiritual encouragement and accountability. We both had the desire to memorize scripture contextually and were already working through Philippians when marathon training started. In keeping with the whole idea of “training” we decided to set spiritual as well as physical goals that were to culminate on April 27th. And while we both crossed the finish line that day in terms of the marathon, our audacious reading and memorizing goals were left behind at mile two.

When we first began training and I pictured marathon day, I pictured the shirt I would run in. On the front, of course, would be my number. On the back, however, I wanted two things. “26(.2) miles in my 26th year” and “…train yourself for godliness; for while bodily training is of some value, godliness is of value in every way, as it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come. 1 Timothy 4:7b-8″ As race day drew near, however, I didn’t feel like I could put those verses on my back. I could mentally assent to their truth, but my course of training did not show that was what I really believed. I made the sacrifices of time and effort to discipline and train my body for a 26.2 mile race, and come race day, I was ready. However, my training for godliness was sporadic and often shallow, and on race day, I wasn’t much further than when I started.

I am convinced that almost anyone can run a marathon. People of all shapes, sizes and ages cross that finish line. I used to see these people and think, “Really? You just ran a marathon?” It all comes down to training. If someone is willing to put in the time and effort to train and train well, then she can run the race … and finish. Hardly anyone, however, can just get up one morning and decide to go out and run twenty six miles. Determination and effort without training can only carry you so far.

There’s a book I have yet to read whose title captures for me the spiritual side of training: “A Long Obedience in the Same Direction: Discipleship in an Instant Society,” by Eugene Peterson. I love that … a long obedience in the same direction. I want to be a disciple of Jesus Christ, but I oftentimes don’t want to work at it. I want to be perfect now. I want to say the right things at the right time. I want to behave appropriately always. I want to have self control. I want to be giving and unselfish. I want to snap my fingers and have all of this perfected in me instantaneously. I forget that it is in training, in hardships, in time and in pain that God “molds me and makes me after his will.” I want to work out only when I feel like it and then expect to run a marathon, but it doesn’t work that way.

I feel that my “bodily training” success has paved the way for success in “training in godliness.” I’ve learned that there are no short cuts. If I try to avoid the “hard” or the pain, I’ll only end up weak and shallow. It’s not always exciting or pleasant, but it’s always worth it. Awhile back, I read a Kate McDonald blog about her infant son’s temper tantrums. She wrote about how even at 14 weeks, Cohen thought he knew what was best and would rail against “tummy time.” She writes, “HE doesn’t know that to be able to walk, he needs to crawl and that to be able to crawl, he needs to learn to hold up his head and chest … which is why I am laying him on his tummy in the first place. It made me think about my life … and about God. God must chuckle at my twisting and turning and screaming about wanting my way and think, ‘really, Kate? Really? You are so sure you know that you know what you need, aren’t you?’ It was a small epiphany that left me thinking long after the little man had (finally) dozed off, worn out from his vain toiling. I found myself saying, ‘God, whatever it takes for me to walk … all of the stretching and discomfort … help me to quit fighting the things you have set in motion in my life to help me grow …’”

Hmm … whatever it takes for me to walk … or run. That’s a scary prayer to pray. However, it’s a prayer that will hopefully carry me beyond mile two and on to twenty six.

I may not have bested Oprah, but I beat the pants off Katie Holmes!

Well, my Facebook countdown has come to an end, and with it the culmination of nearly five months of training. And since my body is currently good for pretty much nothing else, I figure I’ll type up some of yesterday’s highlights.

Rain, Rain, Go Away
I woke up yesterday morning (at 3:50 AM) to cool weather, which is optimal for a marathon. Rain, however, not so much. According to the news, rain was supposed to pass through the metro but be gone by 4:00 AM. Well, nature was a little late, because it started raining at 5:15. I wouldn’t so much have minded running in the rain as much as waiting in it. We stayed in the car as long as possible to avoid a soggy start, barely leaving in enough time for a porta-potty visit before the gun went off. We had to sneak in through a barrier (following some cute boys) to take our starting point. Thankfully it didn’t rain that long or hard, and honestly I’d take cool, wet weather over heat any day.

The Mickey Mantle Bridge
As I was running yesterday, I had to keep reminding myself to take everything in. It’s so easy to get caught up in yourself or just stare at the person in front of you that you forget that you’re running by some of OKC’s most interesting and beautiful landmarks. One of my favorite visuals from yesterday was the run over the bridge on Mickey Mantle Drive. We were just a mile in, on our way through Bricktown, when a left turn put us face to face with our first huge hill. More than a sense of dread, however, I was overwhelmed with a sense of community as I saw the hundreds of runners all crowded in together, bouncing up and down as they scaled the daunting hill. It looked like every picture of a marathon I’ve ever seen, runners of all shapes and sizes, dressed in all colors, all working toward the same goal.

Mile Six Surprise
My parents and brother were in Baltimore this weekend at an awards banquet for my brother, so my aunt, uncle, and cousin decided to come and cheer me on. They drove in from Amarillo that morning (left at 1:00 AM) and got there just before the race began. However, we didn’t get to see each other before the start, and I was worried I wouldn’t see them until it was all over. However, right before the first relay exchange, I heard someone call out my name and saw my uncle wearing a bright orange Wheaton Thunder sweatshirt! Then I saw Carlee a little bit ahead dutifully documenting the day with her camera. Then I heard Kaye’s voice cheering from across the street and looked over to see a sign saying, “Run, Sarah, Run!” I can’t describe how much it means to have people you love come encourage you during a marathon. My sweet family was a huge blessing.

Under Construction
One of the best things about the marathon is the aid stations. Unlike on long run training days, you don’t have to worry about where to put your water/Powerade/pretzels/bananas; they’re right there for you about every couple of miles. Jamie and I made a point to at least drink a sip or two of water or Powerade at every stop. I was most looking forward to mile eight, because my friend Melissa was volunteering there at the Chesapeake aid station. Their theme was “Under Construction” (since Chesapeake is just that), and sure enough, there was Melissa in her cute little hard hat cheering me on as she handed me my Powerade.

When the Going Gets Tough …
If I could use one word to sum up running, that word would indeed be “fickle.” Some days are good, some are bad, and it’s difficult to predict what kind of day you’re going to have. Now while I wouldn’t say that yesterday was a bad running day, I will say that it got hard a lot earlier than expected. On our long run training days, I noticed the difficulty dramatically increase right at the point just past where we had not yet trained. I figured the last six miles would be particularly difficult since the longest we had run in our training was twenty. Imagine my surprise when I felt a sharp change in difficulty not at mile 20, but at mile 9. That’s when I noticed the blisters. I think my toes got a little wet as I accidentally hit some puddles early on, so by mile 9 my legs were fine, but my toes were screaming. I can’t say that I exactly forgot about the pain as much as I learned to deal with it. It was just a little disappointing; nothing like that had happened on any of our previous long runs.

Celebrating the Half … with a Hill
After the long flat stretch on Britton, Jamie and I were greeted by a honking Daniel just as we reached the halfway point. Just under a balloon arch hung a huge banner that said, “ABSOLUTELY, POSITIVELY, HALF WAY THERE!” It was a great encouragement, that is until we saw the huge hill just a few yards behind it. But up and over we went, and just beyond the hill was Lake Hefner. Now while Lake Hefner is beautiful, it is also synonymous with wind. Add to that the fact that we had to run north into it while watching everyone in front of us run south with the wind at their back, because they’d already passed the turn around point. That had to be the one of the most disheartening moments! But then we hit that far north point too and soon had the wind at our backs as well.

Daniel … My Sock Hero!
While we were on the Hefner trail, all of the sudden we hear Daniel yelling at us from the fence. Much to my delight, he is right by Jamie’s car which happened to have a bag of my stuff in it. Remembering the extra pair of fresh clean socks I had packed away, I asked Daniel to retrieve my pretty polka-dotted pack so I could make the switch. He graciously obliged and took arm-stretch self portraits with Jamie while I changed. I wish I could say they made all the difference, but I’m not really sure the new socks were worth the time we wasted. However, the break was beneficial considering we soon faced more wind as we rounded the other side of the lake near Stars and Stripes Park. We were encouraged yet again, though, as we saw Rich at the relay exchange point just before mile 17.

The Twizzler from Heaven
This might be for me the highlight of the marathon. On our longer training runs, Jamie and I would refuel on bananas and pretzels in addition to drinking Gatorade. Just after mile 17, I saw a woman standing holding a tray of Twizzlers, offering them to runners passing by. Now this wasn’t an aid station, and she didn’t look very official or anything, so I’m not sure what possessed me to take it. Something about the thought of a Twizzler at that very moment however, seemed absolutely perfect. It was the weirdest thing, but the combination of taste and texture made it the best marathon snack ever. It may seem ridiculous, but other than crossing the finish line, I think that Twizzler was the best part of the marathon.

Be Strong and Courageous
In addition to looking forward to aid stations, Jamie and I also looked forward to mile markers. Awhile back I got the idea from Kristin Armstrong’s blog to read a different verse at every mile of the marathon. Jamie took the odds, and I took the evens. Of course I waited until the night before to select and write mine out, putting me to bed about an hour later than I had intended. However, I figured that my lost sleep wouldn’t compare to the encouragement and strength that was to flow out to us the next day through those words. At mile 18, I read “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9″ I always tried to read mine as loud as possible so as to encourage those around us as well. Some middle aged guys said something about how neat it was that we were doing that, and another guy showed me his LiveStrong-esque bracelet imprinted with Joshua 1:9. Of course, I littered my little notecards after I was done with each of them, but as my friend Michelle noted, God’s word does not return void! (Seriously, though, I would not have littered except for the fact that with all the cups and all it is a totally acceptable practice on marathon day!)

Mile 20: Sweet Friends and a Drive-by Honking
I’ve always heard that a marathon really starts at mile 20. Well, if that’s true, I was incredibly blessed to have a whole slew of friends start me off! I was so excited to see EB, Angela, Meagan, and Shelly at the last relay exchange. There were a ton of people gathered around at that point, and it meant so hear voices above the crowd cheering specifically for me. Plus, I was looking for someone I could hand off my jacket to. EB saved the day! Then, not even a mile later, I heard honking as we crossed over I-44, and Stacey was driving by cheering and taking pictures. It was a great start to the last 6.2.

Mocha Says Run!
Right at mile 21, there was my family again, a much needed encouragement at an increasingly difficult point in the race. There is a distinct difference in the picture Carlee took at mile 6 in comparison to the one at mile 21. The race grew tedious, especially on that long Classen stretch. Our aid station walking grew from 10-15 seconds (just enough to swallow a few sips of water/Powerade) to a minute or more as we tried to psyche ourselves up for more running. (I saw we, although I don’t think Jamie needed quite as much psyching as me.) Thankfully, Stacey came out of nowhere again, this time with a sign, and proceeded to tell me what a soldier I was. Then my family drove by honking as my aunt held their Yorkie out the window yelling, “Sarah! Mocha says run!” That got some laughs from the runners around us.

Heritage Hills … Emphasis on the “Hills”
The last portion of the race runs through Mesta Park (Stacey’s ‘hood) and Heritage Hills. Now while the houses and landscaping are incredible, the hills are killer. Plus the fact that the course has you run from 18th all the way to 13th only to have you turn around and run all the way back to 18th before you can turn south one last time. While I think almost all of our walking was solely at aid stations, I broke down and told Jamie we needed to walk a little just before mile 25. And then once we did start running again, I felt one of the blisters on my toe pop. At this point my body was used to ignoring the pain, so after a few “ow, ow, ow, ows” I was able to press through. I think Jamie was a little concerned at my outcry, but probably relieved to hear it was just my blister and not some major muscle spasm.

No Holding Back
With the end almost in sight, we agreed to no more stops. Not even for a sip of water at the last aid station. It was so hard to believe that after over four and a half hours of running, we would soon be done. We made it out of Heritage Hills and finally hit the last stretch on Broadway with the end actually in sight. However, that sight could not have seemed any farther away. Jamie went ahead and picked up the pace, and I did my best to keep up. Watching that clock count up and knowing that on the other side a t-shirt, medal, massage and hamburger were waiting was plenty of motivation to give every ounce of energy I had left. We crossed the finish line with a gun time of 4:45:03 and a chip time of 4:43:34.

The Coveted Green Shirt
A little after mile 18, I saw someone holding a sign that said “GREEN SHIRTS 8 MILES FROM HERE” and I knew exactly what it was talking about. Three years ago when I first did the marathon relay, I saw several people wearing these forest green shirts that said “FINISHER” on the back of them. I soon found out that these were only for those who ran the entire marathon, not the relay or half marathon participants. While I had no aspirations of ever running a marathon at that point, I did have a spot in my heart for those shirts. So this year, I knew what lay behind the finish line just for me! Even more than my medal, I will treasure my green shirt.

My Once a Year Fling with Carl’s Jr.
I have eaten at Carl’s Jr. exactly four times in my life. I actually find their advertising kind of offensive which doesn’t exactly scream out “appetizing.” However, once a year, I cave in and eat a post-race burger. And let me tell you, it’s good stuff. Ooh, and this year they had El-Fudge cookies, too. After I had gotten my free massage and eaten my hamburger, my family was ready for Ted’s. I honestly think half of the reason they drove all the way from Amarillo was to eat at Ted’s. So we ate, and I drank my first Dr. Pepper in over a month, and it was the perfect end to an incredible day.

So those are the highlights. You can go here for pictures. When I first began training, it was so that I could say that I ran a marathon … a one time thing with no aspirations of becoming a “marathoner.” I really don’t know if I’ll ever run another one, but just the fact that I’m even considering it with as sore as I am today leads me to believe that I probably will. I do still have Oprah’s time looming out in front of me …

2T47

Lessons Learned

The OKC Memorial Marathon is exactly two weeks away – time for another training update. The program I’m using lasts twenty weeks, so I’ve been in official training since December 10th. These past eighteen weeks I’ve learned quite a bit about running, my body, and myself. I figure a sharing of “lessons learned” will work quite well as an update.

Lesson One: Two are better than one.
When I initially considered running a marathon, I figured I would be doing so solo. Thankfully just before training began, my friend Jamie offered to train and run alongside me. Now that race day’s almost here, I know without a doubt that I could not have come this far alone. It’s as though God saw my desire, knew my insufficiency, and provided the means. Solomon knew what he was talking about.

Lesson Two: The next best thing to a partner is music.
As big of a music person as I am, when I’m running with someone, I prefer to do so sans iPod. However, put me on a treadmill or on a long run all alone, and tunes are a must. In last year’s half marathon, I began the journey with “Eye of the Tiger” and crossed the finish line to “It’s the End of the World As We Know It.” There’s just something about just the right song at just the right part of a run. A Flock of Seagulls’ “I Ran” got me over the hill of death (next lesson) yesterday, and Tom Petty’s “I Won’t Back Down” brought me home.

Lesson Three: Hills will kill you … and make you stronger.
Oh, Edmond. You really can’t go anywhere without encountering some shift in elevation. Scenic? Yes. Runner friendly? No. Well, I take that back. I may not like the hills, but I know they make me a better runner. A few weeks ago, I charted out an eight mile course whose last half mile included what has since become known as The Hill of Death. It starts at Bryant and Ayers with a slight, slow incline which lures you into a false sense of security. However, get past the nursing home and I honestly think the hill begins to laugh at you as it pummels you with it’s increasing steepness with no end in sight. You make it over the crest at Blackwelder thinking it’s all over, but oh no. One more up and over before you hit UCO and are finally done. Seriously, the hill is evil. The first time Jamie and I ran it, I couldn’t catch my breath. I am literally gasping for air almost in tears as we reach UCO, and in her fully functional and virtually unaffected voice, Jamie says, “That was hard. But so good for us.” That about sums it up.

Lesson Four: Drink lots of water … that’s not just propaganda, you know!
I have never been more conscious of my fluid intake than these past few months. The day before a long run is critical. It’s the difference between a lethargic tedium and an energetic joy. Oh, and carb loading, too. The rumors are true; what you eat the day before a run has a profound effect on your performance. Pasta is a must.

Lesson Five: Training for a marathon does not equal weight loss.
Now while not the motivation nor purpose behind my decision to run a marathon, the thought of losing a few pounds seemed like a nice little bonus. Not so much. It turns out that running miles and miles makes you more hungry. And there’s the mentality that I’ve fallen into: “Oh, I just ran 14 miles, I can eat whatever I want!” Well, yeah, but I can’t expect to lose weight that way. Granted, I’m sure that I’ve gained some muscle in my legs, but that’s not all that’s not all that’s made the scales creep up these past few months. It turns out that marathon training is actually not the best time to try and lose weight. From my training book, “Your body has been making the adjustments necessary to run a long-distance race, not to go to a 10-year high school reunion.”

Lesson Six: Kick up your heels.
There are several dangers out there for road runners, two of which I’ve encountered being dogs and cars. A few weeks ago, Jamie and I were finishing up a run in a her neighborhood when a medium sized black dog came running straight at us from about fifty yards away. It was barking and growling, so needless to say I was a bit terrified. We tried to ignore it, but the thing was literally at our heels (evidently that’s not just a saying). My response was to kick my heels up as high as I could while I kept running, thus hitting the dog in the face. Thankfully it worked, and it left us alone. Then yesterday, I was crossing an intersection, fully entitled with the walk signal signaling me to walk, when a car decided to race through what was no longer a yellow light. We’ll add these to my growing list of near death experiences.

Lesson Seven: It’s all in your head.
We’ve all heard it before. “It’s all mental.” Nothing could be more true of running. Sure, there’s the physical side … blisters, asthma, injuries, chafing. However, I’ve come to realize that the mental side is infinitely more difficult perhaps because it’s actually in my control. Last week was our twenty mile long run, the longest we’ll complete before the marathon. We went out of our way to make this run as pleasant as possible, marking off the most scenic and varied route. Now while I wouldn’t call the first seventeen miles entirely pleasant, they were actually at times enjoyable. However, the last three miles were killer. Everything in me wanted to stop. Every ten seconds or so I would internally debate whether or not to tell Jamie we needed to walk a block or two. It was all I could think about. My breathing was noticeably labored, but thankfully Jamie kept silent. If she had opened her mouth to ask me if I was okay, I know I would have caved and told her I needed to stop. We trudged along together in silence, finally turning our last corner and finishing our last city block. And we stopped. And I felt good. Not because I was done running, but because I didn’t stop any sooner. It’s a mental victory I’m counting on for miles 20 through 26.

Well, those are my “this side of the medal” lessons. I’m sure I’ll have a few more to share come April 28th.

Ready

It is an incredibly beautiful day.  A day that naturally lends itself to a long run, and I am elated to be on the other side of twelve miles – further than I’ve ever run in my life.  I couldn’t have imagined better conditions for such a feat.  The air was cool but not cold, the wind almost nonexistent, the sun bright but not glaring.  I was hydrated, carb-loaded and halfway well rested. The stars were aligned. Add to the mix my fabulous running partner and the fact that some of our friends happened to drive by honking/waving/yelling for us at about four miles and then again at six; it felt almost like a real race day. 

About halfway in to our run I started thinking about race day.  At last year’s marathon (where I ran the half) I stood at the starting line beside a girl about my age running her first marathon.  Her face revealed a mix of anticipation and excitement along with some obvious nervousness.  Her boyfriend or coach spoke encouragement over her, reminding her that this day was nothing to worry about.  She had prepared well, and the training was the hardest part.  Her job was to enjoy this day and let it be the crowning achievement of all the work she had already put in. 

Last month I saw Spirit of the Marathon, a documentary chronicling the training and then races of six runners participating in the 2005 Chicago marathon.  The documentarians chose an eclectic bunch.  There was a 70 year old repeat marathoner training and running with his first time participant daughter.  There was an elite Kenyan, hoping to finally take first in Chicago after two or three previous attempts.  There was an Olympic bronze medal winner hoping to win her first marathon ever.  And then there was me.  Well, for all intents and purposes she could have been me.  A 26 year old runner, she was planning to run her first marathon ever after having completed a half the previous year.  Something she said on race morning stuck out to me, and in light of the day of grace which was today, I am cautioned to remember that not all running days are quite so gracious. 

As she got ready to head out for her first 26.2, she prepared mentally for the possibility of failure.  Now that may sound defeatist, but I was encouraged and even inspired by her honesty and realism.  She had prepared well.  She put in the effort – all the long runs and speed work and cross training.  She was ready.  But sometimes things are out of our hands.  All the factors that made today a great running day for me could have easily gone the other way.  There’s the possibility that come April 27^th it could be freezing or worse, sweltering.  The wind may blow as a formidable opponent.  I could get sick.  I could pull a muscle.  Chances are that race day will fall somewhere between the extremes of utopian bliss and all out disaster.  But I know, just like my Spirit of the Marathon kindred spirit, that whatever external factors stack up against me, my failure won’t be because I’m unprepared.  

Because on April 27^th, I will be ready. 

My sport is your sports punishment. (Yes, I know there should be an apostrophe.)

 I’m taking a cue from Kristin Armstrong (ex-wife of Lance and blogger for Runner’s World) by deciding to chronicle my own experience in training for a marathon.  Yeah, remember that whole 26.2 miles in my 26th year thing?  It’s still on, and I figure blogging might provide some much needed accountability in said pursuit. 

Training is going well so far.  I haven’t missed a single long run, although I’ve opted out of a weekday workout here and there in hopes of giving my right knee what seems to be some needed breaks.  I thought getting new shoes would help (which they have somewhat), but the persistent ache recently reminded me of my parking lot mishap last spring.  I was walking back toward West Hall talking on my cell phone when an absentminded driver kind of tapped me (me … not my car … tapped ME) with his car.  “Um, I’ll have to call you back, Stacey … I just got hit by a car.”  I took the driver’s information, but it was just a tap and I seemed to be fine.  My knee was a little sore for the next couple of days, but then everything was back to normal.  I didn’t even remember this until a few days ago when the light bulb came on in regard to my knee.  It’s been almost a year, so the two are probably unrelated.  However, should my training somehow take an unfortunate downhill, I’ve got that “I was hit by a car!” card ready to play.  J 

Another training update … I have a partner!  Back in October when I publically declared my marathon aspirations, I was completely prepared to walk (actually run) that road alone.  However, soon after the declaration, my friend Jamie offered to train and run with me.  I was so surprised.  Jamie’s a natural runner.  She’s tiny and fit and already has a marathon under her belt.  I once heard her say that if she ran another, her goal would be to break four hours.  That’s a nine minute per mile pace.  I can barely run one mile in nine minutes!  Needless to say, I was humbled and honored that she would be willing to train and run with me knowing that there was no way we’d be meeting her goal. 

In all my experience, I must say that running with a partner is infinitely better than running alone.  On and off for the past three years I’ve run with my friend Stacey, and some of our best conversations and moments together were had running.  One dark early morning we head out for a run around Heritage Hills/Mesta Park in what began as a light mist but soon progressed into downpour.  Running and I have a fickle relationship.  Sometimes I hate it.  That morning, however, I have never loved running more.   

Jamie and I have done a couple long runs together, and the “two are better than one” adage still applies.  It makes a remarkable difference.  I still like to go on my own for shorter runs during the week, but any time I hit more than five I thank God for a partner.  I had to run nine by myself a couple weeks ago when Jamie was out of town … yuck.  Picturing myself come April 27th, I am incredible thankful that I won’t be alone. 

This past week was incredibly windy, and being from West Texas I’m a pretty good judge of wind.  I opted for a Wellness Center treadmill over my usual after work outdoor Monday run.  I quickly got bored on the hamster wheel and switched to the indoor track.  I noticed a girl pass me (a couple times I think J) wearing a shirt that said, “My sport is your sports punishment.”  I laughed for two reasons.  First of all, there was no apostrophe in “sports.”  Second of all, it’s so true!  Running was always a punishment growing up.  I ran lines in volleyball for missed serves and miles for missed practices.  For so long I had a mental block against it.  I never thought I could actually enjoy running.  But here I am, training for a race I never thought I would or could do. 

I mentioned Kristin Armstrong at the beginning of this post.  Thanks to my friend Tracy’s recommendation I’ve been reading her blog lately, and something she wrote the other day caught my attention as it could have been my own words.  So because it’s not truly a blog of mine without some sort of quote/lyric/attribution, here is what I think and feel about my own running via the words of Kristin Armstrong (italics mine): 

“And something else entered my mind as I grunted through the final miles to finish 4 minutes slower than my PR.   Something between gratitude and epiphany on the realization scale.  I realized that I am out here, most days of every week, pursuing something that does not come naturally or easily to me.  And I have been doing this for 5 years.  Never in my life, before running, did I ever push hard after something that did not rank high on the list of things that come easily to me.  I have always aspired to/excelled at things that I was already good at.  This probably stems from fear, pride, laziness or some perfection compulsion; my priest or therapist would know for sure.  But running isn’t like that for me.  It’s hard for me.  I struggle.  I suffer.  I get discouraged.  I get mad.  I celebrate, sometimes.  And when I chase after Paige, Katie or any other zippy friend, it’s not because I suck, it’s because they don’t.  Running for Paige is one of her passions, one of her God-given talents, as natural for her as nursing a baby or riding a horse bareback.  It isn’t one of mine, and that is okay with me (or will be as soon as this epiphany sinks in), because I love it anyway…I just love it differently than she does.  I love it the way you love a rivalrous sibling, deep tissue massage, a session with your therapist, giving birth, or a big fight with someone you love.  It doesn’t always feel good in the moment, but ultimately you are a better person for it. 

So I may not always run the way I want to run, race the way I imagine myself racing, and my performance outside may only rarely reflect the runner on the inside, but there is a certain endurance rush reserved for those of us who have to work extra hard just to stand on the start line and dream.   

There is a unique beauty to pursuing the glow that resides just beyond our reach.”

2007: An Illustrated Year in Review

One of my favorite Christmas traditions is the Christmas card.  I couldn’t tell you the history or anything, but for as long as I can remember my family has sent and received them.  It’s exciting to get something other than bills or advertisements in the mail, even if it is just a simple card.  Growing up I always appreciated those who would send a picture with their card, even more those who sent a letter.  Ah, the Christmas card letter.  Granted, for most people this is usually a somewhat censored version of the previous year.  You never get a letter saying, “Well, Johnny got out on parole this past April,” or “Suzy fell off the wagon once again, and we’re still waiting to learn her whereabouts.”  The Christmas letter serves to maximize the year’s triumphs while minimizing or ignoring its pitfalls.  Anyway, all that to say that instead of sending out my own Christmas letter this year, I’ve decided to blog it.  So here for your reading pleasure is my own illustrated version of the year’s events including the highs and lows … with only a little bit of censorship.  J

 

Wheaton, Part 1

I began 2007 in a scramble to get my application in for a master’s program at Wheaton College.  I had finally decided that grad school was for me, and Wheaton was at the top of my list.  The scramble was due to a grad assistantship application deadline in February with one of the requirements being acceptance into the graduate school.  So began the process of essays, transcript requests, and recommendation letters.  I soon found out I was accepted into their Biblical Exegesis program, a definite cause for celebration.  However, after a long application process including essay questions, a test, a phone interview and an all day long campus visit with several mini interviews, come April I found out I did not get the grad assistantship I was seeking.  Disheartened and disappointed, I decided to defer my acceptance into the program for a year, then not completely sure if Wheaton was the place for me.

 

Concerts

2007 was perhaps my favorite year in regard to concerts.  I finally was able to cross Ben Harper off my list (twice J) and saw Derek Webb twice as well.  In addition to my two absolute favorites, I caught shows with Jeff Tweedy, Guster, Charlie Hall, Shawn McDonald, Indigo Girls, Anberlin, Switchfoot, Rilo Kiley, and the Decemberists.  Best acts were Ben Harper at Cain’s in Tulsa with Jayme (front row), Rilo Kiley at Palladium in Dallas with Erin (second row) and Decemberists at the Vic Theatre in Chicago with Jayme (second-ish row).   

 

Running

The on again off again relationship continues.  I ran again in the Redbud Classic, its 25^th annual, and my 3^rd.  I also progressed onto the half marathon in the OKC Memorial last April after two years of relay team participation.  However, I slacked a little in my training and didn’t run the whole thing as was my initial goal.  I did run further than I ever had before, though, and finished the race with a desire to complete the full marathon the following year.  So the end of 2007 began my training for April ’08.  26(.2) miles in my 26^th year.  Yep.

Ben-friend to Boyfriend

2007 also saw the coming and going of my first “grown up” relationship.  An ambiguous friendship progressed into a defined relationship bringing with it both excitement and frustration.  I am so thankful for the experience, definitely a learning one at that.  I was honored in his pursuit of me and challenged by his character.  And while breaking up was hard initially (He broke up with me … I said I’d share the lows as well J), I wouldn’t trade that experience or change anything with the perspective I have now. 

 

Haircut

On the heels of a break up, what better way to begin moving on than a drastic haircut?  I usually have a hair cut goal I’m working toward.  You know – cutting bangs, growing out the bangs, blonde, red, etc.  For awhile I’d been admiring the Victoria Beckham shorter in the back, longer in the front cut (a reverse mullet, if you will), and the break up was just the impetus I needed to follow through.  I’ll just say that it’s my favorite hair cut I’ve ever had and that I get compliments on it all the time.  Seriously, strangers come up to me asking me who cuts my hair.  Kudos to Kendra … and my inspiration, Posh Spice.

 

Daniel’s Surgery

This summer my brother finally had a surgery his doctors have speculated about since his cerebral palsy diagnosis at six months old.  With a decrease in mobility over the past few years, they decided to go in and cut tendons in his groin and hamstrings in order to lengthen the muscles.  The expected recovery was up to eight weeks in hip to toe casts, pretty much confined to the house the remainder of his summer.  To add to the stress, my mom got really sick a few days before the surgery was scheduled and couldn’t make it there.  Thankfully my sweet aunt flew down to take over the “mom” role that neither my dad nor myself were equipped to fill, not being moms ourselves.  On the morning of his surgery I was able to share with him the verses that happened to be listed in conjunction with the devotional my church put out over the summer.  “The LORD has said to me in the strongest terms: ‘Do not think like everyone else does.  Do not be afraid that some plan conceived behind closed doors will be the end of you.  Do not fear anything except the LORD Almighty.  He alone is the Holy One.  If you fear him, you need fear nothing else.”  Isaiah 8:11-13.  What sticks out to me the most from being there for that experience was the incredible courage I saw in my brother as well as his trust in the Lord.  Before the surgery and in the months to follow, he shared how he believed God brought him through the extreme difficulty (not an exaggeration in the slightest) and has made him stronger as a result.  Indeed He has.

 

Saturdate

 

What began as a vision in my friend Stacey’s mind nearly two years ago came to fruition this summer in a conference about love, sex, relationships, and truth.  When Stacey asked me to speak at Saturdate, I felt terror and thrill completely intertwined.  I don’t consider myself a public speaker, and my topic (singleness) was personal.  I would much rather have written an article or something.  However, from the moment she asked me I knew no matter how scared I was, it was something I was supposed to do.  And do well.  In the months and weeks leading up to the event, I learned to depend upon the Lord in a way that I hadn’t ever before, and He faithfully provided what became, “Singleness, Embracing the Season.”  The process of preparation was almost as precious as the event itself.  I was so privileged to meet and chat with Shawn and Kate McDonald, our headlining performer and speaker, as I served as their chauffeur for the weekend. Everyone’s talks were incredible and in addition to Shawn, we were all blessed by Charlie Hall leading us in worship Friday night.  I met incredible new people and saw friendships strengthened as only serving together affords.  Such a short space cannot do justice to the weekend, so I’ll just stop there. 

Ministry

 

With my best “hang out” friend moving to Tulsa in September, not to mention the breakup, I had a little more time on my hands this past fall.  Really wanting to redeem the time, I looked for opportunities to serve both at church and school.  Within my FLOCK, a new teaching team began this fall with the intent that members of our group would take turns teaching our class under the mentorship of our current teacher.  Considering that’s maybe what I want to do with my life, I thought it might be a good opportunity for me to gain some experience in that area.  Who knows what people gain from it, but I certainly have learned a lot through the process.  Also, as the Campus Crusade advisor I’ve made an effort to be more active this year by going to meetings and even getting to speak at one of them.  Perhaps my favorite ministry involvement this year has been my work with Conversation Café, a ministry to international students to help them work on their English and in turn build relationships.  I’ve gotten to know one girl in particular who is now truly my friend and often joins me at church.  The volunteers for this ministry are so genuine, and I am incredibly blessed to have met and now know them. 

Wheaton, Part 2

As the fall semester began, I felt more of a sense of urgency to figure out my plans for the following year.  If Wheaton wasn’t for me, then I had better soon figure out what was.  The more I thought about it and talked it over with family, friends, and even an old professor, the more my heart settled in on Wheaton again as my number one option.  I figured the ultimate test would be another visit – half business and half pleasure.  My cousin started there as a freshman this fall, and so I planned a trip to visit her, complete with fun restaurants, sight seeing, and even a concert (actually, a couple of concerts J).  On the business side, I arranged to sit in on several classes and meet with a couple of students in the program I was considering.   I left for the trip fairly confident in my plans to begin there next fall, but I left with certainty.  Barring any unforeseen circumstances, I should be joining Jayme fall of ’08 … for Christ and His Kingdom.

So there you have it, 2007 in a nutshell … perhaps a large one at that.   Thanks for taking the time to read my Christmas card letter, friends!

26(.2) Miles in My 26th Year

Every month my RAs have to make a bulletin board for their hall on different assigned topics such as health and safety, diversity, academics, etc.  Last month one of my girls did hers on Goal Setting and Values and displayed the following quote on her board: “The difference between a goal and a dream is the written word.”  About six months ago a little dream popped up for me.  I’ve told a few people but haven’t made it that public.  My worry is that I will back out and then have to face all the people that I so enthusiastically shared with in the first place.  I have recently decided, however, that my dream is worth my time and effort.  It’s time to turn my dream into a goal … and a catchy one at that.

On March 15th, I will turn 26 years old.  And on April 27th, I will run 26(.2) miles. 

One of my favorite things about living in the OKC area is the Memorial Marathon.  Three years ago some friends and I made a relay team with me running the final 10K leg.  Two years ago my best friend and I made two relay teams so that we could run the middle 12K leg alongside one another.  Last year I coordinated several relay teams from West Hall and ended up running the half marathon alongside one of my residents.  I had fallen a little behind in my training, so I only got to 10 miles before I had to walk/run the last 3.1.  As I was running that day, however, I couldn’t help but think that were I to put forth the time and effort to really train, that I could totally run a full marathon the following year.

I have no aspirations of becoming a “marathoner.”  Marathons are incredibly hard on your body, and I’ve heard that most of the benefits you get from running are capped out at about 13 miles.  However, just like I jumped out of a plane once and probably never will again, I really want to run one marathon just for the experience and sense of accomplishment.  Considering this is more than likely my last year in Oklahoma, and that the full marathon is the natural next step in my running progression, I think April 27th is the day.

So I have second goal in conjunction with my new marathon goal.  Goal #2 is to be in the kind of shape that were I to run in a sports bra, I would feel no shame.  The other day I went out to run in warmer weather, and when I inadvertantly lifted up my shirt a little, the cool air blowing against my stomach was heavenly.  I consider myself a modest person, but I figure if there is ever an appropriate time to be seen in a sports bra sans shirt, running a marathon would have to be it. 

Well, there it is.  My dream turned goal(s) via a blog.  Today’s weather is super runner friendly, so I’m off to take advantage.

04.15.07

Someday, when I no longer live in Oklahoma, I will miss weekends like this. 

FRIDAY

A fellow church in OKC was holding a free arts conference this weekend with a concert/conversation Friday night, workshops Saturday afternoon, and another concert/conversation Saturday night.  Derek Webb happened to be Friday night’s headliner.  Let’s see … I’ve seen him play eight times now?   He played a couple songs from his new album coming out May 1st … I was pretty proud of myself when I caught the allusion to Ben Harper’s latest album (whom I’m going to see June 7th!!!) in “I Don’t Want to Fight.”  The whole album is about peace, and in true Derek Webb fashion, he speaks to his own failings in that area.  The alluding line went something like, “I’m facing enemies on both sides of the gun.”  I don’t know, was that phrase popular before Ben Harper? 

SATURDAY

After dress shopping for Strangers in the Night (oh, just you wait) I went over to my Ben-friend’s parents’ house for a fish fry.  Ben and his dad had gone fishing that morning, and I was invited over to sample the spoils of their victory.  I’m not usually a huge fish fan, but I must say that I really enjoyed my little piece of striped bass!  I felt very “Oklahoman” eating fish that was just caught that morning by people I actually knew.  Now I realize that fishing is not unique to Oklahoma, but it still somehow felt like a local cultural experience. 

 

SUNDAY

Now today’s main event was inarguably Oklahoman.  For the third year in a row, I ran in the Redbud Classic.  Opting for the 10K this year, I ran alongside my desk clerk for the first three miles until I convinced her that it wouldn’t hurt my feelings if she wanted to run on ahead of me.  I may be able to run far, but I make no boasts when it comes to speed.  I was actually pretty proud of my pace … 6.2 miles at 10:20 minutes/mile.  I came in 313th out of the 513 women participating, and I still came in before over a hundred of the 600+ males than ran.  In two weeks I’m supposed to run 13.1 miles alongside my trusty friend Stacey in the OKC Memorial Marathon.  Are we ready?  Let’s just say I’m pretty sure my pace will not be a 10:20. 

Hmm, this might have been a more interesting post were it illustrated.  I’ll see what I can do for Strangers in the Night …

20 Questions for 2006

A friend passed this on to me as a great way to reflect on the past year, so I thought I’d share.

What was the best CD you got? (purchased or burned)

Hmm … probably the most difficult question on here!  I have really grown to love The Flaming Lips this year, so perhaps At War with the Mystics.  Although not my favorite upon first listen, I have grown to really appreciate Jill Phillips’ Nobody’s Got It All Together as well. 

 

What was the best book you read?

For Christmas I got my dad a book called 501 Must Read Books and after flipping through it, I am completely and utterly ashamed of my lack of reading.  I want to be a reader!  I started Anna Karenina this summer, but had to turn it back into the library before I finished it.  The best book that I read from start to finish within the past year would have to be Don Miller’s Blue Like Jazz.

 

What was the best movie you saw at the theater?

I’m cheap when it comes to movies, so I hardly ever go.  I check out movies from the library or from Randy’s on Thursdays.  I’m trying to even remember movies I saw in the theater … none worth mentioning.

 

Favorite quote you heard in 2006:

I might have heard this in late 2005, but “There are two great lies that I’ve heard:  ‘The day you eat of the fruit of that tree, you will not surely die.’ And that Jesus Christ was a white middle-class Republican, and if you wanna be saved you have to learn to be like Him.”  Derek Webb, from “A King & A Kingdom”

 

Friends you made this year?

Ben, Michelle, a few more church friends, new RAs, new boss, new residents

 

Friends you lost this year?

Hmm … I can really only think of two: Katrina and Robin.  Why does everyone have to graduate and get married?  These were two of my RA girlies I’d had from the beginning, and I shed a tear or two when they left.

 

Something you learned about yourself:

Haha.  Read this.

 

Favorite summer memory:

Taking Jayme to The Fray … her first concert ever.

 

Favorite Spring memory:

Watching Jayme catch Tony Parker’s shoe at the Spurs game we were at over spring break.

 

Favorite holiday memory:

Hmm … throwing up Christmas day?  No, it would have to be the vast amount of quality time spent with my family.

 

TV show you watched the most:

It would have to be a toss up between Gilmore Girls and LOST.  I never miss an episode of GG, and I usually put on old seasons while I’m cleaning my apartment or doing laundry.  However, over the course of 2006, I watched the first two full seasons of LOST as well as the six episode opener of season 3.

 

Something you learned about God:

To quote Jill Phillips, “But You’re always right on time.”  Seriously, I have never been surer of His perfect timing than over the course of the past year. 

 

Coolest clothing item you purchased:

Well, I did buy a pair of Ralph Lauren jeans for $5 at a thrift store in Abilene over the summer.  Although I just bought this last week, (technically not 2006) I did see it this past fall and really, really wanted it: 

Best toy, electronic device, etc you got this year:

Um, no question there.  My iPod, hands down.  (Actually, I think I got it at the end of last year, but it still reigns as best toy.)

 

What news event stuck out to you most this year?

Like reading, I have a similar guilt about not keeping up with current events.  However, I would have to say that the event that most impacted me the most this year was the murder of Jamie Bolin.  It felt like something from a movie.  I actually read a little of her murderer’s blog which made it even more bizarre.

 

What song would be your theme song for 2006?

Jill Phillips – “Daily Bread”  She sang it for me at her concert!

 

What books of the Bible (if any) did you read this year?

I read through the New Testament through the lens of prayer this year, noting every verse in which it’s mentioned, doing my best to gain a fresh perspective untainted by what I or anyone else had previously conceived.

 

Anything you wished you did this year?

Saved more money, managed time better … little things that make a huge difference. 

 

Biggest change in your life this year:

Well, that would probably be dating someone.  A close second would be Body for Life.  Yay for becoming healthy!  Oh, and I learned how to knit.

 

What are the big plans for 2007?

More Body for Life, running a HALF MARATHON come April, a possible NYC trip with Jayme this summer, hopefully lots of concerts and … grad school/seminary in the fall?  I also want to continue studying prayer … going back over my notes from the past year, reading some books and most importantly, praying. 

05.22.06

As promised, here are the bests and worsts of May-cation.

• BEST: Getting to watch two Survivor episodes with my mom, including the finale.
• WORST: Missing watching Survivor with Todd & Jeanna, the fact that they had a “cliffhanger” on Thursday, and that Aras and not Terry won.
• BEST: Actually getting some exercise while on vacation … running at Nelson Park.
• WORST: Sucking at running because I’m not used to doing it in the heat.
• BEST: Weekday lunch with my mom.
• BEST: Getting a Franklin Middle School t-shirt for my brother (the same shirt that I wore when I was in middle school) at St. Vincent de Paul Thrift Store for $1.00.
• BEST: Buying a $.50 pair of running shorts, a $5.00 pair of Polo jeans in excellent condition, and a $1.50 “Don’t Mess with Texas” t-shirt from Goodwill.  I plan to wear my shirt all over Oklahoma.
• BEST: Having a Body for Life free day in Abilene … yeah for Blizzards, China Star and Rick & Carolyn’s Burgers and Fries.
• WORST: Giving myself extended free days and the resulting weight gain-age.  Hey, it was vacation.
• BEST: A surprise visit from my favorite aunt and namesake.
• BEST: Getting to visit my grandparents and uncle.  With his ALS, it’s gotten almost impossible to communicate with my grandfather, but we all had some quality time together watching the Spurs play.
• WORST: The Mavs winning an incredibly close Game 3.
• BEST: Mother’s Day … although my present didn’t get there in time, we had a great time watching The Best of Designing Women on Monday.
• BEST/WORST: Quality time with my dad watching Game 4 … but then again, the Spurs lost.
• BEST: Much needed unlimited talk sessions with Stacey in Houston.
• BEST: Getting a guy’s perspective on some confusing situations.  That’s what friends’ husbands are good for.
• WORST: The price of gas in Houston.
• BEST: My future flower girl (no, I’m not engaged) Molly!  Oh my word, I love that girl.  She has made me actually believe I will love my own children someday.  I visited her when she was a few weeks old, then a few months old, at 12 months and again at 13, but this time, this little sixteen month old girl and I bonded.  She even said my name once … Rah-rah … I’m not yet as popular as Mo-mo (Elmo).  I have never met a better behaved child with as much personality as her.  I love Molly!

  

• BEST: Visiting The Woodlands, walking around the plaza area, and playing with Molly in the fountain.
• BEST: The Spurs winning Game 5!  Yeah, that’s what I did while Stacey and Randy watched Lost.
• BEST: Making a day trip to Galveston with my family of friends.  Fun beach times. 
• BEST: The Spurs winning Game 6!  Um, it’s really bizarre that I care at all … I am definitely not a basketball person.  I played in 7th grade and was on the C-team.  I can’t help it though; Jayme’s got me hooked!  I feel like the players and I are friends … they all have such great personality.  I actually listened to Game 6 on the radio driving back from Houston.  What is wrong with me?

I can’t complain … way more bests than worsts … a great May-cation.

05.05.06

Taking a break from move outs …

Actually, my job this week isn’t near as hard as that of my RAs’ … that is until this weekend when I do damage assessment.  Not so much looking forward to the inevitable resulting angry phonecalls. 

Let’s see, I have been neglecting Xanga these days.  Last Sunday was the Memorial Marathon relay.  I made it four miles before I had to walk, which is pretty dang good considering my lack of training.  One of my RAs ran on my relay team which was fun.  I think it inspired her to train for the whole thing next year.  If anyone can do it, she certainly can – Little Miss Discipline.  My leg consisted of running from Wilshire and Britton all the way to Lake Hefner and around a portion of the lake.  God bless Stacey for keeping my mind occupied with all her “landmark” chat.  Oh, and the random signs around the lake, one of which being, “What’s your favorite Seinfeld episode?”  Stacey’s was the one with the close talker and mine was the one in which George poses as a marine biologist.  That took up at least 5 minutes.  Anyway, I was really pleased with the run and the whole day in general.  I actually feel inspired to start running regularly again.  The next step is a Half Marathon that Stacey and I hope to run in California … the Rock ‘n’ Roll Half … live music at every mile! 

So I signed up a while back for Cain’s Ballroom to send me emails announcing what bands are playing there.  Awhile back I learned that Eisley was playing May 3rd, but I didn’t think a whole lot about it.  I knew one of their songs from 91 FM and  knew my friend Sydnie loved them, but that was about it.  On Wednesday morning, I heard “Marvelous Things” on the radio and remembered how much I liked the song, so I called Sydnie to see if she wanted to go.  She was going to think about it and get back to me, which just allowed me to look forward to it more, so when she told me she didn’t think she could go, I was a little disappointed.  Randomly enough, one of my RAs was up for it, so we had a little impromptu road trip … fun get-to-know-you-more time with Anna. 

The first opening band was okay, the second band was not so okay, and Eisley was excellent!  I recognized more songs than I thought I would.  To me they sound a little like Sixpence None the Richer, but maybe with a little more edge.  The band consists of four siblings and a friend; all play instruments and two of the sisters sing … beautiful pure harmony.  Poor Anna, she stood right beside these two guys blatantly smoking pot, basically blowing it all over her.  I mean, I know it’s Cain’s, but at an Eisley concert?  Oh, and my new favorite song is “Trolley Wood” … the last song of the night.  It sounded incredibly familiar, and then I realized that Sydnie sang it with a friend at a coffee shop in Bricktown awhile back. 

So I am in the process of making another Lost convert.  I went over to Todd and Jeanna’s to watch Survivor last night, and Todd surprised me with the latest issue of “Men’s Health.”  Who is on the cover smirking that ever so seductive smirk?  Sawyer!  (aka Josh Holloway)  I am in no way one of those girls that obsesses over famous actors or musicians.  Okay, I was a little obsessed with John Travolta in late middle school/early high school, and okay, I did write a letter to Jordan and Joey from New Kids on the Block, but other than that, I am totally obsession free!  I don’t know what it is about Sawyer, though.  I say Sawyer and not Josh, because I’m conviced it’s the character and not the actor I have a thing for.  Anyway, after perusing the magazine, I convinced Todd to start working through season one … thank you Randy’s M&Ms free non-new release movie Thursdays!  Ugh, I recently found out that season two doesn’t come out on DVD until October 3rd, which means I will have to record the beginning of season three to watch after I have watched the second season.  So complicated.

Well, five o’clock has rolled around.  Time to go get Ted’s for closedown dinner!