I resolve …

1. To make significant strides toward long term health and fitness.  I won’t elaborate here because I intend to address this one blog-wise in the next few weeks.
2. To take a sabbatical from television.  Over the past few years I’ve watched less and less TV, although this year being back on a student schedule has allowed for much more mindless consumption, especially in the afternoon hours (think Full House re-runs and Family Feud … yeah, I’m not proud).  I don’t want to be ridiculous about this one, however; I plan to follow the spirit of the resolution rather than the letter, especially when it comes to social occasions.  In fact, I am already exempting Thursday nights because LOST is a million times more fun with fellow addicts … ooh, and The Office.
3. To read more fiction.  This flows naturally out of the aforementioned resolution, as I would like to spend more of my free time (haha … fellow Exegesis students laugh with me now) reading for fun.  I would especially love to go back and re-read the books I “skimmed” in high school and college.  I started “To Kill a Mockingbird” over the break in solidarity with my brother who’s about to read it for school this spring.  I had forgotton how incredible it is, and it’s only reinforced my desire to read more.  My junior year of college I went on a “Greek Retreat Weekend” with my Greek Readings professor and about ten other students.  One night at dinner Dr. Roark asked us the first book we remembered reading and loving.  After several people offered their responses, he said something to the effect of, “You don’t get enough real life without reading fiction.”  More than anything Greek related about that weekend, I remember his oxymoronic statement and have since been amused to discover its truth.
4. To give my best effort toward course work.  My first semester back in school after four years off was a good one, but I definitely know I can do better.  Work was especially hard to balance (and I’m sure will continue to be so), but I think with a semester under my belt I am much better prepared to give my best effort this semester.  This will include:  not missing any classes unless decidedly planned in advance, i.e. because of travel, etc.  (However, I will not skip in order to finish homework for other classes or because I forgot to turn my phone – and thus my alarm – off vibrate, as were the few occasions for skipping this semester), actually being early for every class (five minutes is my goal), getting to know and have a good relationship with each of my professors, and finally (and perhaps most importantly) getting research done AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.
5. To put myself on a path for significant spiritual growth.  I’m actually collapsing several resolutions into one here.  In so many ways the past semester has been the best of times and the worst of times, and honestly my time with the Lord has often been of the worst category.  It’s not just my “quiet time” that I’m concerned for; I have not sought to walk in the Spirit.  I’ve drunk shallowly and thus lived shallowly, but I am beginning again to crave that intimacy and depth.  Ever since my freshman year  when Richard Foster’s “Celebration of Discipline” was assigned reading in my Intro to Minisitry class, I’ve been unable to escape the book’s opening paragraph: “Superficiality is the curse of our age.  The doctrine of instant satisfaction is a primary spiritual problem.  The desperate need today is not for a greater number of intelligent people, or gifted people, but for deep people.”  I don’t want to fall into a legalistic agenda rewarded by check marks and gold stars; I want to BE different.  BE transformed.  So tangibly, over the following year I would like to:

• Read the bible through chronologically.  It is ridiculous that I am a graduate student in Biblical studies and have yet to read my object of study in its entirety.  For some reason I get sidetracked after making it all the way to Judges; I get through the hard part and then give up and go back to familiar NT passages.  I have started several reading “plans” beginning in middle school and up to this past spring, but have yet to complete any of them.  So hopefully by trying something new (the chronological approach) and by making my goal public, this will be the year.
• Study, but more importantly actually practice the spiritual disciplines.  I want to experiment with those I have been more hesitant to practice and go deeper in those I have more confidence in.  I want to glean wisdom from those who have practiced them both now and well into the past.  I want to become the deep person Foster argues is so desperately needed.
• Attend Wheaton’s theology conference this spring over Spiritual Formation.
• Go on a personal retreat.  After reading this blog a few months ago, I was reminded of this blog I read awhile back, and the combination of the two stirred up a similar desire within myself.  I don’t know what it will look like or when it will happen, but I’ve also felt the call to “Get thee to a nunnery.”

Alright, so those are my five … well, more like ten crammed into five.  I am a lover of lists, especially lists in blog form, so this was a fun one.  What about you, friends … what are your resolutions this year?

“We’re gonna make it to the church on time …”

Let me tell you about my future family tradition.  Years from now when/if I have a husband and children, we are going to have a Sunday morning car ride theme song.  I found said song a few years back tucked away at the very end of a collaboration album between Ben Harper and the Blind Boys of Alabama.  “Church on Time” is fun, peppy, and the perfect antidote to often stress/strife filled Sunday morning family car rides.

On this particular Sunday morning, however, no amount of Ben Harper was getting me to the church on time.  I have never been as late to church as I was today.  55 minutes!  A personal record.  I once was about 45 minutes late, but that was because I had no ice scraper and had to wait for a one inch thick sheet of ice to thaw off my windshield.

The plan today was to meet up with some of my Oklahoma friends at Willow Creek.  My friend Jamie is in town visiting me and her friend Devon who interns there, so Willow was the natural choice.  I got up just a little bit late and left my apartment about 15-20 minutes later than I had intended.  Then it was raining.  Then, ironically enough, I hit ridiculous traffic courtesy of another mega-church on my way to the mega of all mega-churches.  The directions I got off MapQuest might have been the shortest route, but they were by no means the most efficient.  Stoplights galore and flooded intersections contributed to the lateness, all of which really should have only put me about 25-30 minutes behind schedule.  However, stupid MapQuest instructed me to turn left at one point when I should have turned right, and I ended up in a completely different suburb.  I eventually turned around and happened upon Willow just as I was about to stop for directions.  I got maybe the last ten minutes or so of the sermon, met up with my friends and had a fun hang out afternoon.

While it seems that nature and a host of other things were conspiring against me today, that’s usually not the case.  Usually I’m just late on my own accord.  The last church I went to for several years had a countdown screen displayed in the sanctuary prior to the beginning of service.  I seriously had been going to this church for over a year before I heard someone mention the countdown and had no idea what they were talking about.

The church I’ve been visiting since moving here actually has a count-up!  There’s a little screen outside the sanctuary that counts up the time that has passed since the service began with a message that says something about being courteous as you enter.  This I have seen.

Now yes, I do tend to run late to all sorts of things.  But it seems like when it comes to church, I am late without fail, sometimes ridiculously so.  Why is it that I am usually on time for class and work, but punctuality is the exception rather than the rule when it comes to church?  I would say that it has to do with the range of consequences.  If you’re late to work enough times, you might get fired.  If you’re late to class enough times, it could affect your grade.  If you’re late to church, what?  You have to face the shame of the “count-up”?  That’s not really enough motivation for me to be there on time.

I know, however, that when it comes to church, it’s not about what’s going to happen as a result, it’s about what’s NOT going to happen.  Worship isn’t going to happen.  Yes, I might get there for the last song or at least to hear the sermon, but in that case, what have I really offered to God?  In my New Testament Theology class this past week (soon forthcoming blog on the start of school ) Dr. Perrin talked about the point of the Exodus being worship.  What does Moses tell Pharaoh that God has commanded? “Let my people go, that they may hold a feast to me in the wilderness.”  (Exodus 5:1)  Again and again, Moses repeats the refrain of the Lord, “Let my people go, that they may serve me.”  Dr. Perrin made the argument that worship is our highest calling, and yet how many forsake the worship gathering of believers each week?  I do believe that worship isn’t limited to a building or even a gathering of people.  However, why would I ever not prioritize the absolute privilege of such a gathering, when, unlike the Jews in Egypt, I am gloriously free to do so?

It’s not about my “getting something out of it.”  It’s not about me at all.  It’s an offering.  It was the purpose of the Exodus and by extension the purpose of all mankind.  My purpose.

So for next week, I have two goals.  I want to worship.  I want to ascribe to the LORD the glory due his name.  I want to bring an offering and come before him.  I want to worship the LORD in the splendor of his holiness.  (1 Chronicles 16:29)  Yeah, and I don’t want to see the count-up.

Whatever It Takes

Humor me, but I’ve got one more running post for you guys.

Actually, “training” is a better word. I’ve got one more training post for y’all.

I’ve had a week without running to rest, recuperate, and reflect on the marathon and the five months of training leading up to it. It’s been a nice break, but I must say that it felt good to put my running shoes back on and get a few miles in yesterday. I’ve even started thinking about my next big race … perhaps a half marathon this fall in Chicago? I have realized that I do best when I have a set goal with a clear plan of how to accomplish it. Next race day? September 14th. Training starts? June 23rd.

Last semester, long before Jamie volunteered to train and run the marathon with me, we were engaged in another sort of training together. We met weekly for the purpose of spiritual encouragement and accountability. We both had the desire to memorize scripture contextually and were already working through Philippians when marathon training started. In keeping with the whole idea of “training” we decided to set spiritual as well as physical goals that were to culminate on April 27th. And while we both crossed the finish line that day in terms of the marathon, our audacious reading and memorizing goals were left behind at mile two.

When we first began training and I pictured marathon day, I pictured the shirt I would run in. On the front, of course, would be my number. On the back, however, I wanted two things. “26(.2) miles in my 26th year” and “…train yourself for godliness; for while bodily training is of some value, godliness is of value in every way, as it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come. 1 Timothy 4:7b-8″ As race day drew near, however, I didn’t feel like I could put those verses on my back. I could mentally assent to their truth, but my course of training did not show that was what I really believed. I made the sacrifices of time and effort to discipline and train my body for a 26.2 mile race, and come race day, I was ready. However, my training for godliness was sporadic and often shallow, and on race day, I wasn’t much further than when I started.

I am convinced that almost anyone can run a marathon. People of all shapes, sizes and ages cross that finish line. I used to see these people and think, “Really? You just ran a marathon?” It all comes down to training. If someone is willing to put in the time and effort to train and train well, then she can run the race … and finish. Hardly anyone, however, can just get up one morning and decide to go out and run twenty six miles. Determination and effort without training can only carry you so far.

There’s a book I have yet to read whose title captures for me the spiritual side of training: “A Long Obedience in the Same Direction: Discipleship in an Instant Society,” by Eugene Peterson. I love that … a long obedience in the same direction. I want to be a disciple of Jesus Christ, but I oftentimes don’t want to work at it. I want to be perfect now. I want to say the right things at the right time. I want to behave appropriately always. I want to have self control. I want to be giving and unselfish. I want to snap my fingers and have all of this perfected in me instantaneously. I forget that it is in training, in hardships, in time and in pain that God “molds me and makes me after his will.” I want to work out only when I feel like it and then expect to run a marathon, but it doesn’t work that way.

I feel that my “bodily training” success has paved the way for success in “training in godliness.” I’ve learned that there are no short cuts. If I try to avoid the “hard” or the pain, I’ll only end up weak and shallow. It’s not always exciting or pleasant, but it’s always worth it. Awhile back, I read a Kate McDonald blog about her infant son’s temper tantrums. She wrote about how even at 14 weeks, Cohen thought he knew what was best and would rail against “tummy time.” She writes, “HE doesn’t know that to be able to walk, he needs to crawl and that to be able to crawl, he needs to learn to hold up his head and chest … which is why I am laying him on his tummy in the first place. It made me think about my life … and about God. God must chuckle at my twisting and turning and screaming about wanting my way and think, ‘really, Kate? Really? You are so sure you know that you know what you need, aren’t you?’ It was a small epiphany that left me thinking long after the little man had (finally) dozed off, worn out from his vain toiling. I found myself saying, ‘God, whatever it takes for me to walk … all of the stretching and discomfort … help me to quit fighting the things you have set in motion in my life to help me grow …’”

Hmm … whatever it takes for me to walk … or run. That’s a scary prayer to pray. However, it’s a prayer that will hopefully carry me beyond mile two and on to twenty six.

Past/Present/Future

I’m not sure I’ve ever had a day quite like yesterday.  Initially I would have called it just a really good day.  However, upon closer inspection I realized that yesterday was a sort of microcosm of my life … a collision of past, present, and future. 

Future:

Yesterday afternoon I visited an old college professor to discuss my future educational plans/goals.  I came armed with my list of questions, thankful for someone with whom I could be honest and transparent about my insecurities and fears.  Said professor gave me an hour of his time, and while I went in somewhat unsure and intimidated by the whole grad school process, I left much more confident and enthusiastic about what the next few years hold.  I am excited about possibly moving to a completely different part of the country, for all the newness around the corner.  I realize lately more and more the fullness of time in regard to this pursuit.  I have said it before, but my heart aches to be back in the classroom.  Much to my delight, I will have that opportunity this next week as I visit my cousin at Wheaton and sit in on fun classes like Principles of Interpretation, Hebrew Exegesis of Haggai/Malachi, and Greek Exegesis of Romans.  Making Chi-town plans with Jayme (including two concerts … yay) yesterday on the drive back from Shawnee only intensified my excitement about not only the next few days, but even more so the next few years. 

 

Past:

After my meeting with Dr. Kelly, I got the chance to be nostalgic.  On my way out of Owens I ran into two more old professors and got to chat for a few minutes.  I walked the halls of WMU, stopping to talk with some of the current RAs.  I visited my old room with its arch window overlooking the oval, and therefore fountain.  I walked through the basement and thought about the sometimes out of the way trips to visit Stacey and then Sydnie on the opposite end of the hall if I didn’t have time for a lengthy visit with Ray, the night security guard.  Walking out of WMU, I remembered the view from my room my freshman year of the sun setting behind Raley Chapel.  I walked through the GC and saw the infamous stairs that led to a broken ankle and six of the hardest weeks of my life.  I ate dinner with my old college roommate at a classic Shawnee joint, and even ran into the parents-in-law of an old friend whose wedding I was in nearly six years ago.  And while I have some good memories, I have some regrets as well.  I didn’t always make the most of college in terms of relationships or class work.  I am a different person now than I was then, which leads me to the present.

 

Present:

Because of dinner with Katie, I made it back to Edmond a little late for church, but in plenty of time for FLOCK prayer.  For awhile now, several people in our small group have felt a need/desire to pray together more often, more than just at meals or before/after a lesson.  We do a pretty good job of devoting ourselves to the apostle’s teaching, the breaking of bread, and to fellowship, but in prayer we could definitely do better.  (Acts 2:42)  So we have begun to meet together after church on Wednesday nights.  Prayer could be its own separate post, but I will say that I am just beginning to learn and see its power and effects.  I am incredibly blessed to pray alongside such amazing people who love and care for our small group and want to see God glorified in all the world.  Anyway, prayer was followed by an intense workout session with my own personal trainer and new friend, Yuli.  She is anxious to put her kinesiology knowledge to use, and I am a more than willing guinea pig!  I’m having just a bit of a hard time walking today after my forty lunges with weights, followed by the question, “Okay, can you do twenty more?”  Um, okay.  It is these things, these relationships and myriad of other opportunities God has brought into my life this semester that leave me amazed.

 

Yesterday I realized that I am blessed to have great memories, but glad not to be the same person today that I was then.  I am content with my life now, deeply satisfied and pleased even.  However, I look forward to the future with a joyful anticipation and excitement, albeit a little nervousness.  So I am thankful for my past, present, and future.  And I am thankful for yesterday and its collision of eras that prompted this reflection. 

My version of liturgical prayer

I just got back from lunch with one of my Staceys.  There are two of them … two of my very best friends with the same first and middle names.  As if that wasn’t enough, I now have a new Staci, although her real name is Anastacia so thankfully she doesn’t spell her version of Staci the same way.  Anyway, lunches with OKC-Stacey (as differentiated from Houston-Stacey) are precious times, filled with all sorts of unloading and mutual encouragement.  Oftentimes she speaks wise, wise words into my life be it about God, family, ministry or boys.  (I’m getting a little old to be calling them boys, but it just sounds so weird to say men.)  Today was no exception, and I am once again thankful for her council.

So there’s OKC-Stacey, who I met through my old church and have grown closer to despite our now differing bodies of believers.  There’s Houston-Stacey, who was my RA, then fellow RA and now still incredibly close friend despite our 400+ mile separation.  And then there’s Henderson Hills-Staci, who I am just now beginning to know on a deeper level and have the joy and privilege of teaching FLOCK (Sunday School) with a week from Sunday. 

Our FLOCK recently began a teaching team, which consists of certain members occasionally taking on the lesson instead of our usual teacher.  Staci and I have both recently felt a burdening for our FLOCK in regard to prayer, both praying more for one another, but even more so with one another.  We volunteered to teach a Sunday morning lesson on prayer with the hope that it would birth a regular set aside time of prayer for our group.  That Sunday is fast approaching. 

But back to OKC-Stacey.  A few weeks ago we met for Friday lunch at Irma’s, and the topic of prayer came up.  She mentioned a book she was currently reading called Mudhouse Sabbath.  Lauren Winner, who converted to Christianity from Judaism, outlines several different spiritual disciplines through her own unique perspective.  In her chapter on prayer, she talks about the benefits of liturgical prayer, not as the only kind of prayer, but as a valuable aspect of it.  She recounts memories of her grandfather (I think it was her grandfather … this is what I remember from Stacey; I have not yet read the book.) and the end of his life living with Alzheimer’s.  She explained that even when the disease had stolen the names of his family members from his memory, as they joined together in worship he could somehow recite the liturgical prayers that had become a part of him from years and years of repetition.  I thought about the power in that.  I thought about how when I struggle to pray, to focus, to utter words that sometimes just won’t come, how powerful it would be to set my mind on the words of saints gone before, or Scripture, or hymns and make those my prayer.

This past week Henderson Hills-Staci and I met to discuss our lesson, and she brought along a transcript of a Piper sermon on prayer.  In true preacher fashion, he offers up some alliteration to further illustrate his points, referencing two types of prayer as “Free and Formed.”  While encouraging free flowing prayers of the heart, he also goes on to say, “I plead with you not to think you are so spiritually deep or resourceful or rich or disciplined that you can do without the help of forms.”  Whether it be through lists, Scripture, or books, we can all benefit from hearing and praying the prayers of yesterday.

Because of my church background and upbringing, I haven’t had much exposure to liturgical prayer.  The closest thing I can liken to it from my own background is the singing of hymns.  When I first heard about Lauren Winner’s grandfather, my mind immediately went to hymns.  Other than Scripture, no words remain with me quite like the beautifully crafted lines of old hymns.  I grew up on the cusp of transition from “hymnal worship” to “praise and worship” at my church.  I feel sorry for my brother who won’t have the same rich theology ingrained in him, just because “modern worship” is more popular now.  I am in no way against modern worship; I’m all for singing a “new song.”  I just wish there was more diversity in worship … psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs (Eph. 5:19).  I worry that we are losing much of the depth in worship, the depth so artistically conveyed in many hymns.  There is a movement (I guess you would call it that) called Indelible Grace whose goal is to “help the church recover the tradition of putting old hymns to new music for each generation, and to enrich our worship with a huge view of God and His indelible grace.”  A few of my favorites contribute to the albums (Derek Webb & Sandra McCracken) and they have introduced me to lines I would not otherwise know such as “O love that will not let me go, I rest my weary soul in Thee.  I give Thee back the life I owe, that in Thine ocean depth’s its flow, may richer fuller be.”

Although not a part of Indelible Grace (but part of the Square Peg Alliance with many of the same contributors to IG) Jill Phillips does a beautiful job of hymn preservation on her album “Kingdom Come.”  Last night as I was listening to her rendition and remaking of “Have Thine Own Way,” I thought to myself that this was my liturgical prayer for now.  Perhaps you will pray it with me.

Have Thine own way, Lord.  Have Thine own way.  Thou art the Potter, I am the clay. 

Mold me and make me after Thy will, while I am waiting, yielded and still.

 

Have Thine own way, Lord.  Have Thine own way.  Search me and try me, Master today. 

Whiter than snow, Lord, wash me just now, as in Thy presence humbly I bow.

 

Have Thine own way, Lord.  Have Thine own way.  Wounded and weary, help me I pray. 

Power all power surely is Thine.  Touch me and heal me, Savior divine.

 

Have Thine own way, Lord.  Have Thine own way.  Hold o’er my being absolute sway. 

Fill with Thy Spirit till all shall see Christ only, always, living in me.

Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord …

The aforementioned “Kingdom of God” post #1:

 

A few weeks ago, in an unusual turn of conversation for my coworkers and myself, we somehow got onto the subject of the lyrics to the Battle Hymn of the Republic.  The question was what followed that initial iconic phrase: “Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord.”  I offered up, “He is trampling out the vineyards where the grapes of wrath are stored.”  This totally makes sense if you ask me.  Grapes grow on vines, which you would find in vineyards, right?  Turns out that the word is “vintage” not “vineyards.”  Who knew?

 

However, more than the vineyard/vintage discovery, today I am drawn in by those first few words to the song, most specifically the phrase, “Coming of the Lord.”  Several months ago while at a small group Bible study, our leader asked us about our feelings concerning Christ’s return.  As a group of young single adults, were we simply ambivalent to that event, or did we anxiously long for the coming of our Lord?  I think we all knew what the right answer was supposed to be, but one person with a humorous honesty so characteristic of him interrupted with, “Nope, not married yet.”  And while everyone laughed, I think many of us felt the same way even if we lacked the audacity to say so out loud.

 

I recently had the opportunity to speak about singleness at “Saturdate,” a conference about relationships, love, sex, and truth (taglines from all our publicity).  I could blog about a million thoughts and experiences leading up to and surrounding the conference, but the one thing that my mind keeps returning to is the kingdom of God and the coming of that kingdom.  Stick with me here; I promise I have a point.

 

Back when Saturdate was just a vision in my friend Stacey’s mind, accompanying that vision was the music of Shawn McDonald.  Through going to one of his concerts, reading about his conversion, and identifying wholeheartedly with the lyrics of his songs, she couldn’t shake the feeling that this conference should somehow involve this particular artist.  More than a year later, Saturdate was on, and not only was Shawn on board as Saturday night’s performer, but his wife, Kate, was coming as one of our main session speakers. 

 

Several weeks before Saturdate, Stacey held a ministry team meeting, the thrust of which being to prepare our hearts and minds for the uncharted path we were to journey together.  God had really been speaking to her through a book called, “A Hunger for God: Desiring God through Fasting and Prayer,” and she was anxious to challenge us as the Lord was challenging her.  She asked us to try and recall the last time we had prayed the Lord’s Prayer, of which none of us could really remember.  In Matthew 9, the disciples of John the Baptist come to Jesus asking why they and the Pharisees fasted but Jesus’ disciples did not.  Jesus responds, “Can the wedding guests mourn as long as the bridegroom is with them?  The days will come when the bridegroom is taken away from them, and then they will fast.”  Our Bridegroom has been taken away, and Stacey’s encouragement to us was to pray as Jesus instructed, “Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.”  Lord, come back.  We desire You above all else. 

 

Again, I am tempted to digress into those million other thoughts and experiences, but I will try to stay true to the original spirit and intent of the post.  There were some team members unable to make it that night, and because she was going out of town the next day, Stacey asked me to duplicate the meeting for them the following night.  A little nervous about communicating such a message, I borrowed the book that had so inspired Stacey’s words to us.  (And on a side note, let me just say: John Piper, where have you been all my spiritual life?  I read “Don’t Waste Your Life” at the beginning of the summer, and again, wow.)  That night I devoured the first half of the book, and one of the most significant and convicting chapters was entitled, “Fasting for the King’s Coming.”

 

Piper talks about the early church and how a word often found on her lips was the Greek transliteration of the Aramaic, “Maranatha,” meaning, “Our Lord, come!”  Those first believers were anxious for the return of their Lord Jesus.  Jesus taught them and us to pray for His kingdom to come.  Is there anything in me that honestly aches for Him and His kingdom in this way?  Or do I echo the words of my friend and say, “Nope, not (fill in the blank) yet.”  Not married, not rich, not experienced, not fulfilled.  Piper writes, “This ‘eager waiting’ of the early church for her Bridegroom to come explains why she prayed the way she did.  You can’t really long for something as intensely as she longed for Christ and not cry out to God.  So she cried out and prayed, ‘Lord, thy kingdom come!’  ‘Maranatha!’  ‘Come, Lord Jesus!’  Surely this hunger for Christ needs to be restored in the comfortable church of the prosperous West.  The absence of fasting is indicative of our comfort with the way things are.”

 

Soon to come … Kingdom of God part 2

20 Questions for 2006

A friend passed this on to me as a great way to reflect on the past year, so I thought I’d share.

What was the best CD you got? (purchased or burned)

Hmm … probably the most difficult question on here!  I have really grown to love The Flaming Lips this year, so perhaps At War with the Mystics.  Although not my favorite upon first listen, I have grown to really appreciate Jill Phillips’ Nobody’s Got It All Together as well. 

 

What was the best book you read?

For Christmas I got my dad a book called 501 Must Read Books and after flipping through it, I am completely and utterly ashamed of my lack of reading.  I want to be a reader!  I started Anna Karenina this summer, but had to turn it back into the library before I finished it.  The best book that I read from start to finish within the past year would have to be Don Miller’s Blue Like Jazz.

 

What was the best movie you saw at the theater?

I’m cheap when it comes to movies, so I hardly ever go.  I check out movies from the library or from Randy’s on Thursdays.  I’m trying to even remember movies I saw in the theater … none worth mentioning.

 

Favorite quote you heard in 2006:

I might have heard this in late 2005, but “There are two great lies that I’ve heard:  ‘The day you eat of the fruit of that tree, you will not surely die.’ And that Jesus Christ was a white middle-class Republican, and if you wanna be saved you have to learn to be like Him.”  Derek Webb, from “A King & A Kingdom”

 

Friends you made this year?

Ben, Michelle, a few more church friends, new RAs, new boss, new residents

 

Friends you lost this year?

Hmm … I can really only think of two: Katrina and Robin.  Why does everyone have to graduate and get married?  These were two of my RA girlies I’d had from the beginning, and I shed a tear or two when they left.

 

Something you learned about yourself:

Haha.  Read this.

 

Favorite summer memory:

Taking Jayme to The Fray … her first concert ever.

 

Favorite Spring memory:

Watching Jayme catch Tony Parker’s shoe at the Spurs game we were at over spring break.

 

Favorite holiday memory:

Hmm … throwing up Christmas day?  No, it would have to be the vast amount of quality time spent with my family.

 

TV show you watched the most:

It would have to be a toss up between Gilmore Girls and LOST.  I never miss an episode of GG, and I usually put on old seasons while I’m cleaning my apartment or doing laundry.  However, over the course of 2006, I watched the first two full seasons of LOST as well as the six episode opener of season 3.

 

Something you learned about God:

To quote Jill Phillips, “But You’re always right on time.”  Seriously, I have never been surer of His perfect timing than over the course of the past year. 

 

Coolest clothing item you purchased:

Well, I did buy a pair of Ralph Lauren jeans for $5 at a thrift store in Abilene over the summer.  Although I just bought this last week, (technically not 2006) I did see it this past fall and really, really wanted it: 

Best toy, electronic device, etc you got this year:

Um, no question there.  My iPod, hands down.  (Actually, I think I got it at the end of last year, but it still reigns as best toy.)

 

What news event stuck out to you most this year?

Like reading, I have a similar guilt about not keeping up with current events.  However, I would have to say that the event that most impacted me the most this year was the murder of Jamie Bolin.  It felt like something from a movie.  I actually read a little of her murderer’s blog which made it even more bizarre.

 

What song would be your theme song for 2006?

Jill Phillips – “Daily Bread”  She sang it for me at her concert!

 

What books of the Bible (if any) did you read this year?

I read through the New Testament through the lens of prayer this year, noting every verse in which it’s mentioned, doing my best to gain a fresh perspective untainted by what I or anyone else had previously conceived.

 

Anything you wished you did this year?

Saved more money, managed time better … little things that make a huge difference. 

 

Biggest change in your life this year:

Well, that would probably be dating someone.  A close second would be Body for Life.  Yay for becoming healthy!  Oh, and I learned how to knit.

 

What are the big plans for 2007?

More Body for Life, running a HALF MARATHON come April, a possible NYC trip with Jayme this summer, hopefully lots of concerts and … grad school/seminary in the fall?  I also want to continue studying prayer … going back over my notes from the past year, reading some books and most importantly, praying. 

05.21.06

I was fully intending for my next post to be about the bests and worsts of my May-cation (mostly bests), and I still fully intend to post them, but this afternoon I am compelled to choose another topic.

I love my church.  I could list a myriad of reasons, but this morning I felt especially thankful for my pastor.  I am blessed to hear week to week from such a learned yet humble shepherd.  This morning I felt like I was back in Hermeneutics, except this time rather than sitting in a classroom with twenty or so peers, I was in a sanctuary with maybe a thousand people, young and old, all walks of life, all hearing sound teaching about how to read and study the Bible.  What a novel idea, actually teaching people about context and literary forms and their implication for application! 

So I’m sitting there in my pew (actually it was a chair … sadly even my home church in Texas got rid of its pews in favor of plush chairs) agreeing wholeheartedly with the message, thinking that it was about time Joe-Schmo churchgoer heard this kind of thing, but not thinking about any personal implication.  That was until Dennis made a comment something like, “People ask me all the time how they can pray for me.  I tell them the greatest thing they can pray on my behalf is for discipline to be a faithful student of the Word.” 

And there was the personal implication.  I am incredibly privileged in regard to my exposure to Biblical knowledge.  I grew up in church, had close inquisitive relationships with both my youth minister and pastor uncle, went to a Christian university where my parents graciously allowed me to choose Biblical Languages as my major … plenty of exposure.  In a small group meeting last year, I was talking about my background/college major with the high school minister of my church, and he said something like, “So what do you do with a Biblical Languages major other than have super amazing quiet times?”  I explained my intentions to teach after getting a heck of a lot more education, but thought to myself, “You would think that, wouldn’t you?”  I mean, someone like me, with my upbringing and education, I should have super amazing quiet times.  I should be a diligent and faithful student of the Word.  I should be so much further along …

But I am lazy.  I rarely finish what I start.  I haven’t even read the entire Bible … the collection of books I view as my authority and nourishment, and I haven’t even read them all.  Looking at my life, I would have to say that the single most attacked area of my life is my spiritual growth through reading, studying, and applying Scripture.  More than any sin, I am continually defeated when it comes to integrating the Word into my schedule and life.  I have tasted and seen what God does in and through me when I am grounded in His Word, yet I inevitably fail to read, fail to seek.  It doesn’t make sense to me; I am full of questions, full of love for the Lord and His Word, and I genuinely find joy and answers and inevitably more questions whenever I read … it’s an incredible cycle.  Difficult yes, but exceedingly worth it.  So why do I stop?  Why do I choose anything else over that precious and necessary time?  While I am not one to claim the dismissive cliché of “the devil made me do it,” I am neither blind to the battle that wages for our mind, our devotion, our love.

“Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power.  Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.  For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.  Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything to stand.  Stand firm then with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace.  In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.  Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.  AND PRAY IN THE SPIRIT ON ALL OCCASIONS WITH ALL KINDS OF PRAYERS AND REQUESTS.  WITH THIS IN MIND, BE ALERT AND ALWAYS KEEP ON PRAYING FOR ALL THE SAINTS.”  Ephesians 6:10-18

So on behalf of this saint, like Dennis, I ask that you pray for discipline that I might be a faithful student of the Word.