Posted by: deerharas | October 12, 2005


I miss learning. 

I have probably learned more about life and myself in the past year and a half than in the previous entire twenty two years of my life, but that’s not the kind of learning I’m talking about.  I miss the sitting in a classroom, taking notes, admiring the brilliance of a mind more developed than mine kind of learning.  Oh, believe me, I heralded my graduation day, and I have thoroughly enjoyed the break.  I still remember breaking down at my grandparents’ dining room table because I had no idea what I wanted to do when I graduated; all I knew was that graduate school was not right for me at that point.  It had been my plan from the time I entered college, but the thought of it at that point filled me with an overwhelming sense of unrest.  I chose my major thinking that maybe I might want to teach someday.  I felt drawn in that direction but with no assured confirmation.  It filled me with fear to think about going to a very expensive graduate school just to find out that I didn’t want to teach – an expensive lesson to learn.  So it was time to wait.

I suppose the word “wait” connotes passivity, and for awhile that was my experience.  I saw myself as “taking a break,” not yet really living my true life – waiting to be what God called me to be.  Sometime last year, however, I realized that I’m not just taking a break.  This is a season of my life that God has called me to just as much as any other.  My real life doesn’t start when I get a “real job.”  The thought is liberating.

So while I am waiting on confirmation of the next step, I will be faithful in what God has given me to do now. 


I just love it when I actually get to put my major to practical use.  The world of Residence Life doesn’t afford me a lot of opportunities to discuss the tense of a Greek verb and its theological implications.  This afternoon as I was preparing for my college small group Bible study, I was pleasantly surprised to see a familiar name in the notes.  We are studying Ephesians, and this week focused on chapter two which deals with Gentile inclusion in God’s plan for man’s salvation.  The question arises … what part, if any, of the Old Testament is binding upon Christians today?  The prepared materials referenced notes taken from Dr. Kelly’s Hermeneutics class.  It made me smile. 

Biblical Hermeneutics was the single most important and enjoyable class I ever took at OBU.  “What is hermeneutics?” you may ask.  For those of you who want to impress your friends at your next social gathering, you can ever so subtly drop the word and explain that it is the science and art of Biblical interpretation.  Good times … really.

Anyway, the Ephesians notes referenced Dr. Kelly as well as one of our assigned texts for the class, “How to Read the Bible for All Its Worth.”  I busted out my copy (because after my sophomore year, I never sold back a single book) and devoured the chapter on Old Testament Law in preparation for the Bible Study.  I began to miss learning.

My years at OBU were amazing in some ways and awful in others.  I am so grateful for what I experienced, but I know I missed out on some things.  I chose what was comfortable oftentimes over what was beneficial.  I was lazy, and it hurt me socially, intellectually and spiritually.

My freshman year I had a conversation with an OBU grad who encouraged me to “drink deeply from the well of Civ.”  Well, I sipped … and I am all the worse for it.  I sipped in most of my classes, and I regret it.  I did the bare minimum to get “As” and if an “A” wasn’t in reach, I did whatever it took not to get a “C.”  I lacked the maturity to learn for learning’s sake. 

I suppose that’s the perspective one gets from a year and a half out of school. 

It’s the perspective that makes me miss learning.


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